I’ve mentioned in quite a few posts that my daughter was getting married soon. Well she did it. We had THE most wonderful day yesterday. I made a couple of short speeches and generally the whole day went incredibly well.
Since I’ve been back at work I seem to have gone from strength to strength. I’m back as good as I ever was now. I can lift and carry pretty much the same as always (when they let me – those colleagues of mine are still just as wonderful – just don’t tell ‘em if you know any of them!) Yesterday was one of those landmark days, the days that mark your life out. My daughter got wed! I loved the whole day, but the bit that is probably most relevant to the blog is the reception after the ceremony.
I could dance!
In fact, I could dance my lovely wife to a standstill! I had no pain whatsoever, none. I got breathless of course, but so did some of the kids there who were less than half my age.
I’ve just got a notification, from a girl called Gill that her dad is worried about the op. He’s been treated by Mr Choudri too. All I can say is look at me. Last Christmas I could barely manage a dance with my wife, one dance! I was worried about being able to walk my daughter down the aisle, and Angina was a daily occurrence. Yesterday I walked her down the aisle and gave her away to a wonderful young man. I hit the high spots to many of the old songs of the 70s, including my all time favourite, Love Train, which makes this old chap go crazy and his wife completely change her tune. Instead of asking me to dance she’s usually saying something like “Sit down you old fool, you’re making an exhibition of yourself”. Well, I did – and I could have done a lot more if Marg would have kept up! I’m so pleased with myself that I might even post a couple of pictures …
Sunday 31 August 2008
Thursday 1 May 2008
The Last Post...
Well, I've tried my best to take all the readers of this blog with me on my journey, but now, I think I've reached the end. Yesterday was my first day back at work, and I dropped back into it like I'd never been gone. It was really great to be back "amongst it" all again, the shouting, the swearing, the laughs and all the other things that make up a typical day in the motor trade. Today I had to make one final visit to the hospital to see Dr Durham about my faint last week, but he seems fairly confident that it was a pretty well a one off. My blood pressure problem (which I still can't remember the name of) seems to be the likely culprit, and as long as I remember that and don't break into a run again, or do anything quite as stupid, I should be alright. Its funny, running to catch a bus is just human nature somehow - especially when you know you can get to the stop before the bus does. Maybe I should know better. I'm an ex bus driver and used to chuckle as I left "runners" - maybe the great god of bus passengers is laughing at me now!
So, I'm back at work, I don't have another appointment with Dr Durham for another year - and that is only a final check before being discharged - so that's pretty well the end of my story. It's funny, but I'm going to miss writing the odd bit for it, after all it's been a pretty important thing for me for the past nine months. That's a thought isn't it? Nine months is the gestation period for new life, and I've certainly gained that. When I think back to the old days, the gasping for breath, the pain, and not being able to even give Marg a dance without having to stop half way through the music - well it's certainly a new life now.
Now, I'm actually looking forward to the next dinner dance and so on. Next month we're getting away for a long weekend, and I can pretty well guarantee the I'll be doing my best to sweep Marg off her feet again - well, ok, I'll buy her a gin - make it a double - and get her up on the dance floor for a bop. That'll be a landmark for both of us.
To everyone who has written, posted and read this little journal, thank you. Those who have contacted me have made me feel it's been worthwhile. If Graham reads this, I hope you're recovering at high speed buddy - drop me a line, I still owe you a pint.
Suffice it to say that this has been a record of my personal journey. No doubt yours will be different, but I hope it gives those following some idea of what to expect. I’m an ordinary chap, I drive a van for a living, and when all this started I searched all over the web to try to find someone like me who had been through this, and could just talk about it in layman's terms. I couldn't find anything or anyone, and perhaps that’s why this blog has become something of a personal mission to me, something I feel for and care about.In every entry I have tried to explain how I feel at the time. There are typos and spelling mistakes throughout it, but I’m leaving them alone. I also think I could express myself better than I have on occasions, but again, I’m not going to edit any of the posts. The whole idea of the blog is to explore how I felt at the particular moment I posted the entry. To go back now and edit sections would somehow defeat the object. Its not a story, it’s not been edited in any way, everything I have posted came straight from the heart (no pun intended), so perhaps it’s time to say some words of thanks, and maybe do some summing up.
First the Thanks:Gosh this is hard. When I think about it I owe so many people my gratitude, from my doctor(s) and nurses, to the surgeon Mr Choudrhi – what a man he is! My friends and colleagues who have put up with my ups and downs, and helped me along the way. Thanks mates, you’re a pleasure to work with. People who have posted to the blog, some I have never met, and never will, but who have shown interest – thank you. Linda in Birmingham, Chris and Maggie, Jude and Ron, all of you make such a difference to me, and I thank you. My family, I’m lost for words with them. All I can say is how much they all mean to me. My brothers and sisters-in-law, Ian and Lynda, Pete and Jan, the greater family, nieces, nephews have all played a part in helping me through this. My own immediate family, Cheryl and David, along with Phil, my soon to be son-in-law have given me so much to care about, and finally my own dear Marg – well maybe that’s best said privately, but 37 years ago I made such a good decision!
So to sum up:Is it worth it? Is it worth the worry, the stress, the fear and a little pain? Oh man, is it! If it were all to end tomorrow, it would still have been worth it. The feeling of getting over that little mound on my first walk, the mound that had become my personal Everest, made it worthwhile, being able to enjoy cold late winter air, being able to walk at a reasonable pace, not to have to stop to breathe – there are so many, many ways in which it is so worth it. I’m now looking forward to Spring and Summer walks, regaining at least some of the strength I had years ago. I’ve been so fed up at feeling like a little old man, now I’m going to go for everything.So that’s pretty well it. I truly hope this helps someone who is going through the same experiences, if it does then I’ll be happy to hear from anyone.
As a final thought, Dr Durham gave me some advice today which I'm taking to heart (how often that organ comes into everyday speech) he just said to me "Go out and live your life."
I'm going to do just that!
So, I'm back at work, I don't have another appointment with Dr Durham for another year - and that is only a final check before being discharged - so that's pretty well the end of my story. It's funny, but I'm going to miss writing the odd bit for it, after all it's been a pretty important thing for me for the past nine months. That's a thought isn't it? Nine months is the gestation period for new life, and I've certainly gained that. When I think back to the old days, the gasping for breath, the pain, and not being able to even give Marg a dance without having to stop half way through the music - well it's certainly a new life now.
Now, I'm actually looking forward to the next dinner dance and so on. Next month we're getting away for a long weekend, and I can pretty well guarantee the I'll be doing my best to sweep Marg off her feet again - well, ok, I'll buy her a gin - make it a double - and get her up on the dance floor for a bop. That'll be a landmark for both of us.
To everyone who has written, posted and read this little journal, thank you. Those who have contacted me have made me feel it's been worthwhile. If Graham reads this, I hope you're recovering at high speed buddy - drop me a line, I still owe you a pint.
Suffice it to say that this has been a record of my personal journey. No doubt yours will be different, but I hope it gives those following some idea of what to expect. I’m an ordinary chap, I drive a van for a living, and when all this started I searched all over the web to try to find someone like me who had been through this, and could just talk about it in layman's terms. I couldn't find anything or anyone, and perhaps that’s why this blog has become something of a personal mission to me, something I feel for and care about.In every entry I have tried to explain how I feel at the time. There are typos and spelling mistakes throughout it, but I’m leaving them alone. I also think I could express myself better than I have on occasions, but again, I’m not going to edit any of the posts. The whole idea of the blog is to explore how I felt at the particular moment I posted the entry. To go back now and edit sections would somehow defeat the object. Its not a story, it’s not been edited in any way, everything I have posted came straight from the heart (no pun intended), so perhaps it’s time to say some words of thanks, and maybe do some summing up.
First the Thanks:Gosh this is hard. When I think about it I owe so many people my gratitude, from my doctor(s) and nurses, to the surgeon Mr Choudrhi – what a man he is! My friends and colleagues who have put up with my ups and downs, and helped me along the way. Thanks mates, you’re a pleasure to work with. People who have posted to the blog, some I have never met, and never will, but who have shown interest – thank you. Linda in Birmingham, Chris and Maggie, Jude and Ron, all of you make such a difference to me, and I thank you. My family, I’m lost for words with them. All I can say is how much they all mean to me. My brothers and sisters-in-law, Ian and Lynda, Pete and Jan, the greater family, nieces, nephews have all played a part in helping me through this. My own immediate family, Cheryl and David, along with Phil, my soon to be son-in-law have given me so much to care about, and finally my own dear Marg – well maybe that’s best said privately, but 37 years ago I made such a good decision!
So to sum up:Is it worth it? Is it worth the worry, the stress, the fear and a little pain? Oh man, is it! If it were all to end tomorrow, it would still have been worth it. The feeling of getting over that little mound on my first walk, the mound that had become my personal Everest, made it worthwhile, being able to enjoy cold late winter air, being able to walk at a reasonable pace, not to have to stop to breathe – there are so many, many ways in which it is so worth it. I’m now looking forward to Spring and Summer walks, regaining at least some of the strength I had years ago. I’ve been so fed up at feeling like a little old man, now I’m going to go for everything.So that’s pretty well it. I truly hope this helps someone who is going through the same experiences, if it does then I’ll be happy to hear from anyone.
As a final thought, Dr Durham gave me some advice today which I'm taking to heart (how often that organ comes into everyday speech) he just said to me "Go out and live your life."
I'm going to do just that!
Monday 28 April 2008
Its Monday, so it must be gym day...
...except today, it wasn't. Each time we visit the gym we're asked if we have had any new symptoms since our last visit. Of course I had to explain about the faint and so on. Every bodies (except mine) faces got longer as I explained about running for the bus and being pretty daft really. First there was a long delay in letting me start the warm up until the nurse in charge got my notes, then the notes were not available so she decided not to take any chances and checked my Blood Pressure.
I'm pretty sure she knew what to expect and what is happening seems to be this; Just at the moment I seem to have a fairly low BP if I stand up suddenly. The nurse (Jessica) tested it by having me sit, feet elevated on a sort of divan thing for about 15 / 20 minutes. She then took my BP, left the cuff in place and asked me to stand up quickly. I did, and my BP seemed like it dropped quite impressively. Maybe this is the reason for Fridays episode, I don't know. Certainly it could account for my feeling faint after working in the garden with Marg on Saturday.
Anyway, todays gym was a bit of a washout. I didn't do my cicuits, and eventually left early as I was a bit cheesed off and felt like I was the centre of everyones attention.
So, it's back to work on Thursday. I had a word with our boss man tonight and he thinks his boss may want me to work inside for a little while. I'm not to sure about that, I've always just driven the van, but I only work there, so I'll do what they ask within reason. Actually my employers have been brilliant throughout this protracted sick leave. They've paid me right through, which I didn't expect them to, but I can't tell you how grateful I am that they have. Its made a tremendous difference to me, not having to worry about money - after all 3 months without pay is a long time. So thank you Motor Parts, I won't forget how I've been treated.
I'm pretty sure she knew what to expect and what is happening seems to be this; Just at the moment I seem to have a fairly low BP if I stand up suddenly. The nurse (Jessica) tested it by having me sit, feet elevated on a sort of divan thing for about 15 / 20 minutes. She then took my BP, left the cuff in place and asked me to stand up quickly. I did, and my BP seemed like it dropped quite impressively. Maybe this is the reason for Fridays episode, I don't know. Certainly it could account for my feeling faint after working in the garden with Marg on Saturday.
Anyway, todays gym was a bit of a washout. I didn't do my cicuits, and eventually left early as I was a bit cheesed off and felt like I was the centre of everyones attention.
So, it's back to work on Thursday. I had a word with our boss man tonight and he thinks his boss may want me to work inside for a little while. I'm not to sure about that, I've always just driven the van, but I only work there, so I'll do what they ask within reason. Actually my employers have been brilliant throughout this protracted sick leave. They've paid me right through, which I didn't expect them to, but I can't tell you how grateful I am that they have. Its made a tremendous difference to me, not having to worry about money - after all 3 months without pay is a long time. So thank you Motor Parts, I won't forget how I've been treated.
Friday 25 April 2008
Of buses, blue lights and hard pavements...
...Oh and lovely nurses!
I went to the docs today to get my return to work cert. Because of another sleepless night Marg left before me, so I went on the bus. I walked round to Tescos to get some new batteries for the smoke alarm we have then got on the bus. I walked down Lord Mayors Walk to the docs and got my cert, then walked back to catch the bus home again. This is where it all went a bit pear shaped.
As I rounded the corner, i saw my bus stuck in traffic about 30 yards short of the stop. I was only the same distance away so I made a run for it (I know, I know - sorry) That's about the last thing I remember. I had a terrific dizzy spell and thought "That was a pretty stupid", which was my last conscious thought. I woke up lying flat on my back on a very hard pavement with two girls holding my hands and telling me not to move. One got my wallet which had fallen from my pocket, the other my phone. An ambulance was already on its way as one of them had called it.
One of the girls asked me if I wanted anyone to be informed, and of course I asked for Marg (as an aside her number is under "ICE"- In Case Of Emergency on my phone and proved it's worth today, because I could no more remember her number than fly, but I remembered it was under ICE - please make sure you and all your family do this, it saved so much time today) So the ambulance turned up all flashing lights and sirens - very dramatic - and the guy checked me over. I'd cut the back of my head in the fall, but otherwise I'm ok, but that didn't stop them carting me off to hospital blue lighs flashing and horns blowing, through red lights and the rest - oh no!
There I was treated for the cut, my heart was checked (it's fine - or as fine as it's ever going to be), and they sealed the cut with superglue. Actually the only stuff I have found that superglue does work on is my flesh, so I have every confidence in it holding.
So that's it really. If ever I'm stupid enough to run for a bus again, I can expect a kick in the teeth from Marg and the kids! And guess what? I missed the bloody bus after all that!
People really ARE wonderful though, the two girls I've never met or will meet again the ambulance guy - everyone at the hospital all did their bit to help me through what was a pretty frightening experience. It does restore ones faith in human nature.
I went to the docs today to get my return to work cert. Because of another sleepless night Marg left before me, so I went on the bus. I walked round to Tescos to get some new batteries for the smoke alarm we have then got on the bus. I walked down Lord Mayors Walk to the docs and got my cert, then walked back to catch the bus home again. This is where it all went a bit pear shaped.
As I rounded the corner, i saw my bus stuck in traffic about 30 yards short of the stop. I was only the same distance away so I made a run for it (I know, I know - sorry) That's about the last thing I remember. I had a terrific dizzy spell and thought "That was a pretty stupid", which was my last conscious thought. I woke up lying flat on my back on a very hard pavement with two girls holding my hands and telling me not to move. One got my wallet which had fallen from my pocket, the other my phone. An ambulance was already on its way as one of them had called it.
One of the girls asked me if I wanted anyone to be informed, and of course I asked for Marg (as an aside her number is under "ICE"- In Case Of Emergency on my phone and proved it's worth today, because I could no more remember her number than fly, but I remembered it was under ICE - please make sure you and all your family do this, it saved so much time today) So the ambulance turned up all flashing lights and sirens - very dramatic - and the guy checked me over. I'd cut the back of my head in the fall, but otherwise I'm ok, but that didn't stop them carting me off to hospital blue lighs flashing and horns blowing, through red lights and the rest - oh no!
There I was treated for the cut, my heart was checked (it's fine - or as fine as it's ever going to be), and they sealed the cut with superglue. Actually the only stuff I have found that superglue does work on is my flesh, so I have every confidence in it holding.
So that's it really. If ever I'm stupid enough to run for a bus again, I can expect a kick in the teeth from Marg and the kids! And guess what? I missed the bloody bus after all that!
People really ARE wonderful though, the two girls I've never met or will meet again the ambulance guy - everyone at the hospital all did their bit to help me through what was a pretty frightening experience. It does restore ones faith in human nature.
Its Thursday, so it must be gym...
...and so it was. Today's "heart parade" included Heart of Glass, by Blondie, Heart of Stone by Cher (she's great) and the killer of the day - "Open Your Heart to Me by Madonna. Now I'm tuned into this music as we exercise, I hear so much more and each time I gain more admiration for whoever chose the songs - in much the same way as I admire the guy who chose "C'mon Baby Light my Fire" for his cremation!
The talk today was by one of the members of the York Coronary Support Group, which found quite interesting. The group has been going for roughly 20 years. It was founded by Dr Roger Boyle, the man who told me there was little to do all those years ago. He's now a big wheel in the government, I'm not sure of his official title, but he's known as the "Heart Czar". As I remember him, he's a nice guy and extremely clever. It just shows the progress that has been made over the 20 years or so of my problems.
The group have many sort of activities, ranging from working out (More working out after this course has finished) swimming, walking (they carry a defibrillator, just in case) and of course quiz nights and so on. I'm not really a "joiner" but I might well just go and have a look sometime at one of the meetings.
The talk today was by one of the members of the York Coronary Support Group, which found quite interesting. The group has been going for roughly 20 years. It was founded by Dr Roger Boyle, the man who told me there was little to do all those years ago. He's now a big wheel in the government, I'm not sure of his official title, but he's known as the "Heart Czar". As I remember him, he's a nice guy and extremely clever. It just shows the progress that has been made over the 20 years or so of my problems.
The group have many sort of activities, ranging from working out (More working out after this course has finished) swimming, walking (they carry a defibrillator, just in case) and of course quiz nights and so on. I'm not really a "joiner" but I might well just go and have a look sometime at one of the meetings.
Wednesday 16 April 2008
A special day!
Today has been pretty special really. Having been discharged from Castle Hill I rang my own GP to make arrangments for my return to work. He actually seems pretty reluctant to certify that I'm fit, but under a little persuasuion finally agreed. I was hoping to start back next Monday, but he was having none of that. The best I could get away with was re-starting on Thursday, so that I'd only have two days to do before the weekend came round again. It's a compromise that I'm happy with, after all he only has my interest at heart and what's three more days after the length of time I've been off?
Today is also my birthday. Marg has booked the day off so we can spend it together and asked what I wanted for my present. I honestly couldn't think of anything, but elsewhere in this blog I said that I'd like to walk around the Marine Drive in Scarborough like I used to be able to - well, we DID it! It was brilliant, just as I remember, the wind was cold and strong in our faces, the sea smashing over the rocks below us and the cry of the seagulls on the cliffs high above us has to be heard. Admittedly we didn't walk all the way round, after all, that's a pretty good walk - and we had to walk back to the car too, but we walked more than two thirds of the way I would think. And the best bit? Well far and away the best bit was not having ANY Angina pain - none at all - not a jot! It's probably the best present I've ever had. Just the freedom to do this sort of thing after half a lifetime of not being able to defies my use of words. Suffice it to say today has been a memorable day - AND I drove there and back, some 80 /90 miles all told and I'm ok after that too.
So life is getting back to normal. Soon I'll be moaning on about workload and traffic and how I have to go to work and so on, but I don't care. I'm so looking forward to taking part in society again rather than just looking in at it from the outside, because that's how I feel just now. I suppose I've had a foretaste of retirement, and while Marg was with me at home off sick too, it was pretty nice - even though we both felt pretty dire, but she's back at work now and being alone, the days are pretty long.
Today is also my birthday. Marg has booked the day off so we can spend it together and asked what I wanted for my present. I honestly couldn't think of anything, but elsewhere in this blog I said that I'd like to walk around the Marine Drive in Scarborough like I used to be able to - well, we DID it! It was brilliant, just as I remember, the wind was cold and strong in our faces, the sea smashing over the rocks below us and the cry of the seagulls on the cliffs high above us has to be heard. Admittedly we didn't walk all the way round, after all, that's a pretty good walk - and we had to walk back to the car too, but we walked more than two thirds of the way I would think. And the best bit? Well far and away the best bit was not having ANY Angina pain - none at all - not a jot! It's probably the best present I've ever had. Just the freedom to do this sort of thing after half a lifetime of not being able to defies my use of words. Suffice it to say today has been a memorable day - AND I drove there and back, some 80 /90 miles all told and I'm ok after that too.
So life is getting back to normal. Soon I'll be moaning on about workload and traffic and how I have to go to work and so on, but I don't care. I'm so looking forward to taking part in society again rather than just looking in at it from the outside, because that's how I feel just now. I suppose I've had a foretaste of retirement, and while Marg was with me at home off sick too, it was pretty nice - even though we both felt pretty dire, but she's back at work now and being alone, the days are pretty long.
And finally, my son left the cartoon at the top of the page for us on the kitchen worktop. We both laughed like drains when we saw it - and it seems quite fitting for the day. Thanks Dave!
Tuesday 15 April 2008
Discharged!
Well the long wait seems to be coming to an end. Today I was officially discharged from Castle Hill. I saw Mr Chaudrhi (I just noticed today that I have been mis-spelling his name all through this blog) and he seems pretty pleased with me. I mentioned the blog to him and he said he'd have a look, and maybe take it forward to new patients. I really hope he does, and that someone finds my experiences helpful in coming to terms with their own problems.
Now I really do feel like I'm on the last lap. I only need a certificate to return to work from my GP and I'll be back at it. I'm really hoping to be back to work on Monday, though, of course, I'll be guided by what the doc says. I'm not going to do anything stupid, after all so many people have put so much effort into getting me to this stage that I would be letting them down if I jumped the gun, so I'll wait and see.
Now I really do feel like I'm on the last lap. I only need a certificate to return to work from my GP and I'll be back at it. I'm really hoping to be back to work on Monday, though, of course, I'll be guided by what the doc says. I'm not going to do anything stupid, after all so many people have put so much effort into getting me to this stage that I would be letting them down if I jumped the gun, so I'll wait and see.
Friday 11 April 2008
More of the gym etc.
Really todays post could be compressed into three words: Gym, hard, whacked!, but I suppose I'd better elaborate.
I'm nearing the half way stage of the gym sessions now, and the work load is increasing. Some of the exercises I find quite easy, but others tire me out. It's really quite strange because in virtually every job I've ever had I've had to hump and carry moderate to heavy stuff around, but this is what I find most tiring just now. I don't think it's actually carrying the weights, it's the positions that you have to place them. One exercise is to have a hand weight of 1.5 kg in each hand and hold them above the head, then at arms length in front of you and then to the side, again at arms length, which is immediately followed by holding a medicine ball of 2kg at arms length at 45 degrees above the head while doing knees bend stuff.
I know the weights don't sound much, and I would have laughed at doing such things before, but I was absolutely knackered when I finished today. Sweat was pouring off me and I had to have a quick wash before the talk.
While I'm on the subject of the gym, I have to say there is a certain black humour (which I really admire) in the choice of music to do the exercises to. Every tune has the word "heart" in it somewhere. Some todays more memorable ones were "Anyone Who had a Heart", "Heartbreaker", A Good Heart is Hard to Find" and "This old Heart of Mine". Apparently the music selection has been put together by a passed patient. I kinda like his - or her - style!
I'm nearing the half way stage of the gym sessions now, and the work load is increasing. Some of the exercises I find quite easy, but others tire me out. It's really quite strange because in virtually every job I've ever had I've had to hump and carry moderate to heavy stuff around, but this is what I find most tiring just now. I don't think it's actually carrying the weights, it's the positions that you have to place them. One exercise is to have a hand weight of 1.5 kg in each hand and hold them above the head, then at arms length in front of you and then to the side, again at arms length, which is immediately followed by holding a medicine ball of 2kg at arms length at 45 degrees above the head while doing knees bend stuff.
I know the weights don't sound much, and I would have laughed at doing such things before, but I was absolutely knackered when I finished today. Sweat was pouring off me and I had to have a quick wash before the talk.
While I'm on the subject of the gym, I have to say there is a certain black humour (which I really admire) in the choice of music to do the exercises to. Every tune has the word "heart" in it somewhere. Some todays more memorable ones were "Anyone Who had a Heart", "Heartbreaker", A Good Heart is Hard to Find" and "This old Heart of Mine". Apparently the music selection has been put together by a passed patient. I kinda like his - or her - style!
Monday 7 April 2008
A busy day at the Hopital
Another Monday, so a gym day. Actually I found myself double booked with the gym and the diabetic clinic. Fortunately they are both in the hospital so I managed to see both, though the gym session had to be shortened a little. It still seems to be a bit of a problem getting my heart beat down after exercise. Getting it up there is no problem, today it got up to 130 BPM just during the warm up, but they want it back to the start level before you leave and mine refuses to get there. I don't feel bad, breathless or anything like that, I don't have "palpitations" it just doesn't seem keen to slow down. I have no idea why this is.
Anyway having cut short the gym work, I went up to the diabetic clinic, which ironically was running 30 minutes late - just the time I quit the gym by. Today was the dreaded retinal screening. For anyone who hasn't had it it fairly unpleasant. Don't get me wrong - it's not excruciating, but the drops they put in your eyes to dilate the pupils sting a bit. Actually, quite a lot! But they did it and I waited them to work. It normally takes about 20 minutes and during this time I went to see the doctor.
I have to say, she was delighted with me! My blood sugar level was "fantastic" and I'd lost "a great deal of weight" (five days in intensive care with kidney failure and no food tends to make you lose weight) and all in all I just had to "keep up the good work". I was pretty pleased with myself as I have really tried to go by the book on the Diabetes thing - it's just that I keep losing the book.
So then it was to get my eyes photographed. I have to say there must be something slightly sadistic about the medical profession. I admire them and I have so much to be grateful for, but they drop something that feels like acid into your eyes to make the pupils dilate, then to pop off a flashbulb right into them seems a bit extreme. I staggered out of the room only able to see a big blue circle and nothing else!
Then the final stop of the day - bloodtaking. This has become a routine now and the ladies who do it seem to be just brilliant at it. I honestly never felt the needle at all. I'm just hoping the the cholesterol level is something like and - who knows I may be back to work soon
Anyway having cut short the gym work, I went up to the diabetic clinic, which ironically was running 30 minutes late - just the time I quit the gym by. Today was the dreaded retinal screening. For anyone who hasn't had it it fairly unpleasant. Don't get me wrong - it's not excruciating, but the drops they put in your eyes to dilate the pupils sting a bit. Actually, quite a lot! But they did it and I waited them to work. It normally takes about 20 minutes and during this time I went to see the doctor.
I have to say, she was delighted with me! My blood sugar level was "fantastic" and I'd lost "a great deal of weight" (five days in intensive care with kidney failure and no food tends to make you lose weight) and all in all I just had to "keep up the good work". I was pretty pleased with myself as I have really tried to go by the book on the Diabetes thing - it's just that I keep losing the book.
So then it was to get my eyes photographed. I have to say there must be something slightly sadistic about the medical profession. I admire them and I have so much to be grateful for, but they drop something that feels like acid into your eyes to make the pupils dilate, then to pop off a flashbulb right into them seems a bit extreme. I staggered out of the room only able to see a big blue circle and nothing else!
Then the final stop of the day - bloodtaking. This has become a routine now and the ladies who do it seem to be just brilliant at it. I honestly never felt the needle at all. I'm just hoping the the cholesterol level is something like and - who knows I may be back to work soon
Friday 4 April 2008
Onward and upward...
Well after the scare the other day it was back to normal yesterday. I'd had to miss my previous session at the gym, but went back to yesterdays. My favourite little twelve year old has gone (I think she's doing some more exams) and the lady in charge yesterday looked a good bit older - maybe in her 20s!
Whatever, she certainly put us through our paces, although she was particularly careful to make sure I didn't over exert myself. I actual fact, I quite enjoy these sessions. As you see the same faces each time it becomes almost a social experience, and one or two laughs ensue.
Having done the session Marg picked me up and we went home. It was only later that the muscle aches hit! My legs ached pretty well, but my chest muscle (presumably the one that has to be cut through) really did hurt. Turning over in bed proved to be a rather exciting experience - sort of moving in easy stages and waiting for the pain to die down before moving on again. That's not too bad, as long as you're awake, but if you're asleep, you don't do that, and it proves to be something that brings out the motor trade language in me. I have a feeling Marg was maybe a little shocked...
I'm starting to feel more like I'm ready to go back to work now, though. In fact I'd rather like to give it a go. I know some of the lifting will be right out the window for the moment - and maybe for quite a while yet, but I miss the banter and the general atmosphere of work, and it give you back a pattern to your life, which I'm missing at the moment.
I have an appointment with Mr Choudrhi on the 15th of this month during which I'd like to find out if the breathless episode is anything to worry about, but after that, I'm hoping for a return to work chitty and back at it.
Whatever, she certainly put us through our paces, although she was particularly careful to make sure I didn't over exert myself. I actual fact, I quite enjoy these sessions. As you see the same faces each time it becomes almost a social experience, and one or two laughs ensue.
Having done the session Marg picked me up and we went home. It was only later that the muscle aches hit! My legs ached pretty well, but my chest muscle (presumably the one that has to be cut through) really did hurt. Turning over in bed proved to be a rather exciting experience - sort of moving in easy stages and waiting for the pain to die down before moving on again. That's not too bad, as long as you're awake, but if you're asleep, you don't do that, and it proves to be something that brings out the motor trade language in me. I have a feeling Marg was maybe a little shocked...
I'm starting to feel more like I'm ready to go back to work now, though. In fact I'd rather like to give it a go. I know some of the lifting will be right out the window for the moment - and maybe for quite a while yet, but I miss the banter and the general atmosphere of work, and it give you back a pattern to your life, which I'm missing at the moment.
I have an appointment with Mr Choudrhi on the 15th of this month during which I'd like to find out if the breathless episode is anything to worry about, but after that, I'm hoping for a return to work chitty and back at it.
Tuesday 1 April 2008
A Scare.
I've deliberately not posted this until today as I wanted to get my facts right, which is ironic, bearing in mind the date, but I had a hell of a fright last Saturday. One of Margs colleagues is retiring shortly and she wanted to get him something "personal" as they have worked closely for the past several years. Knowing his interests we went into town to find a book for him. We went on the bus, so we weren't constantly looking at the clock for parking. It was a day that bright, clear, but pretty chilly, and we got off the bus in town for the short walk to the bookshop.
I couldn't make it. There is a slight rise from the bus stop, in fact more of an incline that a rise, but it stopped me dead inside 30 yards, puffing and panting like in the old days. My heart sank as I wondered what the hell had gone wrong. I recovered after a little while, but it upset the rest of the day. Together we walked slowly around town, got the gift then got the bus home. I stayed in for the rest of the day worrying about what had happened. I rang the doc and spoke to her on Monday. She asked me to go in straight away, but I couldn't get to the surgery as I had no transport. She said to come in today, but it the meantime if there was any recurrence then to phone immediately and they would come out to me, and not to go to the gym this afternoon.
I simply stayed in. Messed about around the house and got tea ready for Marg. Over tea I snapped at her, which is something I never do, but I was so worried that I just went a bit overboard over something. I know she was a taken aback by this as it's just not like me at all.
Well today I went to the docs, having first walked up the street and a bit further without mishap. Marg picked me up and I went to see the doc after dropping her at work. I explained to him all that had happened and how I was scared something had broken. He examined me minutely, checked pulse and BP, sounded my chest and asked lots of questions - and at the end of it said he couldn't find anything wrong at all. What a relief!
He seems to think it's a combination of many things, not least not sleeping well. I've taken to sleeping - or rather laying tossing and turning- in the spare room, and I hate it. I'm pretty sure Marg does too, but it's unfair to keep her awake because I can't sleep. It doesn't take much to make you lose the confidence you gain so painstakingly over the past two months, but at least it doesn't seem to be anything serious - much to my and every other family members relief.
I still have to keep my appointment with Mr Choudri in a few days time and I'll tell him all about it too, but at least I feel better in myself.
I couldn't make it. There is a slight rise from the bus stop, in fact more of an incline that a rise, but it stopped me dead inside 30 yards, puffing and panting like in the old days. My heart sank as I wondered what the hell had gone wrong. I recovered after a little while, but it upset the rest of the day. Together we walked slowly around town, got the gift then got the bus home. I stayed in for the rest of the day worrying about what had happened. I rang the doc and spoke to her on Monday. She asked me to go in straight away, but I couldn't get to the surgery as I had no transport. She said to come in today, but it the meantime if there was any recurrence then to phone immediately and they would come out to me, and not to go to the gym this afternoon.
I simply stayed in. Messed about around the house and got tea ready for Marg. Over tea I snapped at her, which is something I never do, but I was so worried that I just went a bit overboard over something. I know she was a taken aback by this as it's just not like me at all.
Well today I went to the docs, having first walked up the street and a bit further without mishap. Marg picked me up and I went to see the doc after dropping her at work. I explained to him all that had happened and how I was scared something had broken. He examined me minutely, checked pulse and BP, sounded my chest and asked lots of questions - and at the end of it said he couldn't find anything wrong at all. What a relief!
He seems to think it's a combination of many things, not least not sleeping well. I've taken to sleeping - or rather laying tossing and turning- in the spare room, and I hate it. I'm pretty sure Marg does too, but it's unfair to keep her awake because I can't sleep. It doesn't take much to make you lose the confidence you gain so painstakingly over the past two months, but at least it doesn't seem to be anything serious - much to my and every other family members relief.
I still have to keep my appointment with Mr Choudri in a few days time and I'll tell him all about it too, but at least I feel better in myself.
Monday 24 March 2008
How quickly...
How quickly we take things for granted. Today Marg and I went for a walk. We were out for about an hour-an-a-half or maybe two hours during which time we covered about four miles, completing the last bit in the teeth of a biting northerly wind and snow. Only six months ago this would have had me on my knees. People who know me know that I was unable to walk at any speed - even when we were relaxed and on holiday.
A look back to the post about our family holiday in Majorca would confirm that. A gentle slope would have me gasping for breath, a cool wind would produce an angina attack as surely as night follows day.
All this has changed. Now, my legs are likely to give up on me before my heart does, they certainly were aching by the time we got back today, but so were Margs, so that's not so bad. It all seems so long ago now, but it's only a matter of a few months. I still get the some chest pain, but generally I can cope with it, and it's from the cutting of the breastbone, not Angina. I'm pretty well off pain killers now and my major problem is sleeplessness, but again, I'm sure that will get better with increasing activity.
In short I now enjoy a new life. I have a couple of pretty impressive scars, and as I rarely wear a tie one of them could prove to be a talking point and the other won't be visible until I don my shorts. You may be waiting a long time for that!
My life has changed totally - and how quickly I'm taking it for granted, and how hard I have to try to remember the old days and appreciate the miracle that has been achieved.
A look back to the post about our family holiday in Majorca would confirm that. A gentle slope would have me gasping for breath, a cool wind would produce an angina attack as surely as night follows day.
All this has changed. Now, my legs are likely to give up on me before my heart does, they certainly were aching by the time we got back today, but so were Margs, so that's not so bad. It all seems so long ago now, but it's only a matter of a few months. I still get the some chest pain, but generally I can cope with it, and it's from the cutting of the breastbone, not Angina. I'm pretty well off pain killers now and my major problem is sleeplessness, but again, I'm sure that will get better with increasing activity.
In short I now enjoy a new life. I have a couple of pretty impressive scars, and as I rarely wear a tie one of them could prove to be a talking point and the other won't be visible until I don my shorts. You may be waiting a long time for that!
My life has changed totally - and how quickly I'm taking it for granted, and how hard I have to try to remember the old days and appreciate the miracle that has been achieved.
Sunday 23 March 2008
Insomnia
This is something new to me. I can't sleep. I've never had any trouble just dropping of at night but just this past week or so I have an awful game just getting to sleep. I thought it was a fluke at first, but it seems to be continuing. I went to the docs and he gave me some mild sleeping pills ("just take one as you go to bed for a couple of nights and you'll soon re-establish a sleep pattern") Well, sorry doc, this time your wrong.
I find myself wandering round the house at all hours of the night. Last night I was doing a tour of famous prisons via Google earth and I'm writing this as Marg is sleeping. I think it's about half past midnight. The pattern seems to be that I feel really tired while downstairs and come to bed at a normal time for us of 10.30 / 11.00 o'clock. Then suddenly I'm wide awake again. I have no idea why this should be and I don't even know if it's connected to the op, but it's driving me crackers!
While it would be wrong to say that I don't get a wink of sleep, I certainly aren't getting my full ration. I need at least six hours a night, and I'm better with eight. I'm just not getting them at the moment. Tonight in desperation took two of the tablets - result - nothing, which accounts for me tapping out on these keys at this time of night. Ah well, maybe I'll go for a look around Australia or somewhere for a change tonight.
I find myself wandering round the house at all hours of the night. Last night I was doing a tour of famous prisons via Google earth and I'm writing this as Marg is sleeping. I think it's about half past midnight. The pattern seems to be that I feel really tired while downstairs and come to bed at a normal time for us of 10.30 / 11.00 o'clock. Then suddenly I'm wide awake again. I have no idea why this should be and I don't even know if it's connected to the op, but it's driving me crackers!
While it would be wrong to say that I don't get a wink of sleep, I certainly aren't getting my full ration. I need at least six hours a night, and I'm better with eight. I'm just not getting them at the moment. Tonight in desperation took two of the tablets - result - nothing, which accounts for me tapping out on these keys at this time of night. Ah well, maybe I'll go for a look around Australia or somewhere for a change tonight.
Thursday 20 March 2008
The Gym...
Well the day of reckoning finally arrived. A little while ago I had been forcibly driven to the shops to buy some tracksuit bottoms (£5.00 Tescos best!) and sporting them complete with two go faster stripes down each leg, and feeling both foolish and as conspicuous as a porcupine in nudist colony, I went. One of the things that I hadn't taken into account was how much wearing trainers and cheap jogging bottoms generate static electricity. Everything metal that I touched seemed to preceded by a blue flash, a sharp crack and me swearing. I'll swear they could plug me into the National Grid and I'd make fortune!
In actual fact it wasn't so bad. We're all pretty much of an age sort of late fifties or early sixties, and at various stages of the scheme. We were met and taken to the gym where there is some pretty sophisticated equipment. Donning the heart monitor proved to be something of a challenge, as it fits in much the same way as a bra. Thank goodness I'm not a woman, I'd never manage! However after much fiddling and messing about I got it on and put on the "watch" reader. Simply putting the kit on raised my heart rate quite alarmingly! Afterwards I had my blood pressure taken (slightly raise at 140 over something or other) the the guy pulled a bit of face, but let me carry on
A charming young girl who looked to be about 12 arranged us around the gym on the various bits of kit. In all honesty the kit is pretty simple, mainly weights and medicine balls, and we started the drill. It seemed pretty easy at first, but soon I was sweating. After about a minute or so we all moved around the the next exercise and carried on. I was at my best doing the "gentle walk" and my worst lifting the medicine ball out at 45 degrees. By the time I'd been round all of the kit I was pretty pooped. We sat for a few moments, not still, you understand, we had to keep our feet moving and had a drink of orange juice. The we did it all over again.
They actually wanted the heart rate to be the same at the end as at the start, but mine refused to come down for quite a while and I was sent of on the gentle walk again. Maybe it was a flukey low reading to start with, but it never did, so I just took the monitoring kit off and joined the group again for the talk.
The talk was pretty interesting, about the benefits of exercise, and certainly gave food for thought. In England 70% of people lead sedentary lives, and it's getting worse. Just the amount of exercise that we did today lifted us out of that group and made us "active" - that's quite a thought.
In actual fact it wasn't so bad. We're all pretty much of an age sort of late fifties or early sixties, and at various stages of the scheme. We were met and taken to the gym where there is some pretty sophisticated equipment. Donning the heart monitor proved to be something of a challenge, as it fits in much the same way as a bra. Thank goodness I'm not a woman, I'd never manage! However after much fiddling and messing about I got it on and put on the "watch" reader. Simply putting the kit on raised my heart rate quite alarmingly! Afterwards I had my blood pressure taken (slightly raise at 140 over something or other) the the guy pulled a bit of face, but let me carry on
A charming young girl who looked to be about 12 arranged us around the gym on the various bits of kit. In all honesty the kit is pretty simple, mainly weights and medicine balls, and we started the drill. It seemed pretty easy at first, but soon I was sweating. After about a minute or so we all moved around the the next exercise and carried on. I was at my best doing the "gentle walk" and my worst lifting the medicine ball out at 45 degrees. By the time I'd been round all of the kit I was pretty pooped. We sat for a few moments, not still, you understand, we had to keep our feet moving and had a drink of orange juice. The we did it all over again.
They actually wanted the heart rate to be the same at the end as at the start, but mine refused to come down for quite a while and I was sent of on the gentle walk again. Maybe it was a flukey low reading to start with, but it never did, so I just took the monitoring kit off and joined the group again for the talk.
The talk was pretty interesting, about the benefits of exercise, and certainly gave food for thought. In England 70% of people lead sedentary lives, and it's getting worse. Just the amount of exercise that we did today lifted us out of that group and made us "active" - that's quite a thought.
Monday 17 March 2008
An introduction to the gym
Marg went back to work today. She's still not right, but insists on going back "to see how I go", I feel sort of lost without her being around. Its funny how it never crossed my mind that she would be around when I came out of hospital, but now she's disappeared, at least during the working day, I feel odd and maybe a bit vulnerable, but life goes on.
We're very lucky here in York as we have an active and well prepared cardiac recovery system. Today was my turn to find out about the gym work that I'll be doing over the next six weeks.
A small group of us met at mid-morning to be briefed on what to expect and what was expected of us. We'll all be examined as we do our workouts. We'll all be given a sort of belt affair to wear round our chests and a wristwatch that will measure our heart rate. We need to be careful not to get too close to our neighbour or the belt might pick up their heartrate too and add them together, causing some alarm and consternation. Also if the watch registers "zero" it means that the battery is flat, not that you're dead! Of course they won't be expecting us to be athletes, but to become fitter than we are. I'm quite looking forward to it really as it'll give me some focus for what are now becoming long days. I drove the car back from Margs work (so that I could use it to go to the meeting), and it's till quite painful even after a short distance. I'm hoping the gym setup will help with this because I'm now getting quite worried about my job. Van drivers are ten a penny, and I've now been off work since January, so you'll see what I mean. My employers have been great, but goodwill is a finite resource and I don't want it to run out.
Otherwise, there's not much else to report. I'm pretty sure that I am improving, but the rate of improvement is slowing down markedly. Oh well, we'll see how knackered I am after Wednesdays work out. I'll let you know...
We're very lucky here in York as we have an active and well prepared cardiac recovery system. Today was my turn to find out about the gym work that I'll be doing over the next six weeks.
A small group of us met at mid-morning to be briefed on what to expect and what was expected of us. We'll all be examined as we do our workouts. We'll all be given a sort of belt affair to wear round our chests and a wristwatch that will measure our heart rate. We need to be careful not to get too close to our neighbour or the belt might pick up their heartrate too and add them together, causing some alarm and consternation. Also if the watch registers "zero" it means that the battery is flat, not that you're dead! Of course they won't be expecting us to be athletes, but to become fitter than we are. I'm quite looking forward to it really as it'll give me some focus for what are now becoming long days. I drove the car back from Margs work (so that I could use it to go to the meeting), and it's till quite painful even after a short distance. I'm hoping the gym setup will help with this because I'm now getting quite worried about my job. Van drivers are ten a penny, and I've now been off work since January, so you'll see what I mean. My employers have been great, but goodwill is a finite resource and I don't want it to run out.
Otherwise, there's not much else to report. I'm pretty sure that I am improving, but the rate of improvement is slowing down markedly. Oh well, we'll see how knackered I am after Wednesdays work out. I'll let you know...
Sunday 9 March 2008
just thinking...
One of the things that enforced idleness does is give you time to think, and I've been doing a lot of that. Normally the world whizzes past as I drive from one place to another, but being unable to drive has somehow opened my eyes.
This is a really lovely time of year, the buds are coming out, leaves are just turning green and the world is awakening from it's winter hibernation. During yesterdays walk we stopped countless times just to admire natures handiwork. Just taking the time to look at how the leaves are tightly enfurled in the bud, and a little further along the branch another bud has burst is just incredible.
Another thing is that time is less important (actually it's completely unimportant really) and having time is a special gift. It opens you mind to memories and thoughts that you don't have time for normally.
I have so much to be thankful for. Far more than I can put down here, but I'm one of that blessed generation of "Baby boomers" born just after the war. I was born too late to serve in Malaya, Cyprus and Suez, and too early to have to face the Iraq chaos. Just being the age I am is pretty amazing. Then I have my wonderful family. I'm saying nothing about them, because I've said plenty already. All in all, I have very few regrets.
The one major regret is this: I wish with all my heart that I'd never started smoking. I know there is nothing worse than a reformed smoker, but it's just so true. I don't know if all my health problems have been caused by smoking, but I do know that if I hadn't smoked then I'd be a lot better of than I am now - in every way. I sat down the other day and worked out how much I was spending on fags per week, before I stopped. I'd done it before, after all it was one of the reasons I did stop, but it's a mind blowing figure just the same.
I kidded myself that I was only smoking twenty a day, but in reality I bet it was nearer forty. Even if we take the lower figure, twenty Benson and Hedges now cost more than £5.50. Now multiply that by 7 days gives you £38.50 - a week! bearing in mind I've been smoking for more than 40 years I must have spent thousands on suicide on the easy payment plan. My smoke money has paid for several holidays since I stopped in 2003. I know what I'd rather spend my money on!
This is a really lovely time of year, the buds are coming out, leaves are just turning green and the world is awakening from it's winter hibernation. During yesterdays walk we stopped countless times just to admire natures handiwork. Just taking the time to look at how the leaves are tightly enfurled in the bud, and a little further along the branch another bud has burst is just incredible.
Another thing is that time is less important (actually it's completely unimportant really) and having time is a special gift. It opens you mind to memories and thoughts that you don't have time for normally.
I have so much to be thankful for. Far more than I can put down here, but I'm one of that blessed generation of "Baby boomers" born just after the war. I was born too late to serve in Malaya, Cyprus and Suez, and too early to have to face the Iraq chaos. Just being the age I am is pretty amazing. Then I have my wonderful family. I'm saying nothing about them, because I've said plenty already. All in all, I have very few regrets.
The one major regret is this: I wish with all my heart that I'd never started smoking. I know there is nothing worse than a reformed smoker, but it's just so true. I don't know if all my health problems have been caused by smoking, but I do know that if I hadn't smoked then I'd be a lot better of than I am now - in every way. I sat down the other day and worked out how much I was spending on fags per week, before I stopped. I'd done it before, after all it was one of the reasons I did stop, but it's a mind blowing figure just the same.
I kidded myself that I was only smoking twenty a day, but in reality I bet it was nearer forty. Even if we take the lower figure, twenty Benson and Hedges now cost more than £5.50. Now multiply that by 7 days gives you £38.50 - a week! bearing in mind I've been smoking for more than 40 years I must have spent thousands on suicide on the easy payment plan. My smoke money has paid for several holidays since I stopped in 2003. I know what I'd rather spend my money on!
Thursday 6 March 2008
Back to the docs
I had to revisit my GP this morning. The infection along my chest woud still hasn't cleared up. I have a feeling that it's fading a little, but it's only marginal, if at all. She examined me again and prescribed more antibiotics which I shall take as required. One thing has been ruled out, MRSA. I'm grateful for that. I'm not sure how I'd go on if I got the dreaded MRSA as well as all this other stuff.
I'm still a bit sore and achy from yesterdays drive, but I'm not as down as I was yesterday. Its a strange thing how we just expect out bodies to recover in a a few weeks from what has been major surgery, but we do. Or at least I do
I'm still a bit sore and achy from yesterdays drive, but I'm not as down as I was yesterday. Its a strange thing how we just expect out bodies to recover in a a few weeks from what has been major surgery, but we do. Or at least I do
Wednesday 5 March 2008
My first drive.
Well, having being given my head by Mr Choudrhi yesterday, I decided to take us both out for a short drive today. I can't believe what hard work driving is!
For a guy who would thnk nothing of driving a couple of hundred miles just to get a photo of something I was totally knackered when we got home after a run of maybe 15 miles. My chest hurt where the seat belt had rubbed on it, my arms ached with turning the wheel and my ears ached from hearing Marg saying "Don't do too much!" The thing is, that I drive for a living. I only drive a light van, but even that requires more, much more, than I have to give at present. It feels really strange, but no doubt I'll find my feet again - soon I hope.
So having done the test drive we returned home. I went for a lie down and promptly fell fast asleep for nearly two hours! I can just see that going down well on the delivery front!
For a guy who would thnk nothing of driving a couple of hundred miles just to get a photo of something I was totally knackered when we got home after a run of maybe 15 miles. My chest hurt where the seat belt had rubbed on it, my arms ached with turning the wheel and my ears ached from hearing Marg saying "Don't do too much!" The thing is, that I drive for a living. I only drive a light van, but even that requires more, much more, than I have to give at present. It feels really strange, but no doubt I'll find my feet again - soon I hope.
So having done the test drive we returned home. I went for a lie down and promptly fell fast asleep for nearly two hours! I can just see that going down well on the delivery front!
Tuesday 4 March 2008
The six week check up
It's hard to believe that it's now six weeks since I had the op. It's certainly been an experience that has left it's impression on me, some good, some bad - but mainly good I think it's fair to say.
I always get a bit tense when I have to see the doctor, I suppose it's just the way I am, and today was no exception. I spent most of yesterday moping around, snarling at people and being a general pain in the proverbial. Like I say, I don't do it intentionally, but when I'm a bit stressed - well everyone knows it! So I'm using this little bit to apologise to Marg and the others. One day you'll be able to get you own back on me.
So, on to the the results: Mr Choudrhi seems fairly pleased with me. Its come as a bit of a relief to be able to write this, but I seem to be pretty average. I'm now walking for roughly a mile-and-half most days, and I can now step this up a little. My cuts are healing pretty well, although the infection in my chest wound causes a little concern - not much, I hasten to add. The pain varies with the days, sometimes it's almost none existent, others it's there all the time. Again I seem to be fairly average in this too. I have to be careful about lifting weights, so I guess the Olympics in Beijing are out, but then I wasn't that keen on going to China. I suppose the biggest thing to come out of the check-up is Mr Choudrhi's decision that I am fit enough to drive again. There's no doubt that this is a major step forward. I am a 50,000 mile a year man, and frankly not having a steering wheel in my hands feels pretty strange. I haven't really missed driving, but somehow I felt incomplete not being able to. In fact, I've quite enjoyed being chauffered around (though I 've walked to most places), but it will be nice to get back on the road again.
I'm looking forward to getting back to work, though I fear it may be some time before I'm allowed to do the lifting required by the job. Possibly at the end of this sick certificate I can maybe do some light duties, but we'll have to see what the medics say. Until then I'll just keep on truckin' doing my walking and taking the pills until I feel better. It's been a long road somehow. In many ways it's been twenty years long, but as the old saying goes, "It's a long road that has no turning", I think my turning is coming up
I always get a bit tense when I have to see the doctor, I suppose it's just the way I am, and today was no exception. I spent most of yesterday moping around, snarling at people and being a general pain in the proverbial. Like I say, I don't do it intentionally, but when I'm a bit stressed - well everyone knows it! So I'm using this little bit to apologise to Marg and the others. One day you'll be able to get you own back on me.
So, on to the the results: Mr Choudrhi seems fairly pleased with me. Its come as a bit of a relief to be able to write this, but I seem to be pretty average. I'm now walking for roughly a mile-and-half most days, and I can now step this up a little. My cuts are healing pretty well, although the infection in my chest wound causes a little concern - not much, I hasten to add. The pain varies with the days, sometimes it's almost none existent, others it's there all the time. Again I seem to be fairly average in this too. I have to be careful about lifting weights, so I guess the Olympics in Beijing are out, but then I wasn't that keen on going to China. I suppose the biggest thing to come out of the check-up is Mr Choudrhi's decision that I am fit enough to drive again. There's no doubt that this is a major step forward. I am a 50,000 mile a year man, and frankly not having a steering wheel in my hands feels pretty strange. I haven't really missed driving, but somehow I felt incomplete not being able to. In fact, I've quite enjoyed being chauffered around (though I 've walked to most places), but it will be nice to get back on the road again.
I'm looking forward to getting back to work, though I fear it may be some time before I'm allowed to do the lifting required by the job. Possibly at the end of this sick certificate I can maybe do some light duties, but we'll have to see what the medics say. Until then I'll just keep on truckin' doing my walking and taking the pills until I feel better. It's been a long road somehow. In many ways it's been twenty years long, but as the old saying goes, "It's a long road that has no turning", I think my turning is coming up
Friday 29 February 2008
Infection
Yesterday morning I got up and took my normal shower. As always I checked out my chest wound in the mirror and it looked OK. For some reason I couldn't be bothered to have a shave, and just got dressed ready for a walk. Of course She-who-must-be-obeyed said something like "Get a shave you scruffy old man", and wanting a quiet life I had one.
It was only after I took off my shirt that I saw the angry red / pink marks running alongside the cut. I knew there were not there 2 hours earlier, and had Marg take a look. She thought it looked infected (so did I) and a visit to the docs was called for. So we went, and now I have even more tablets to take, this time they are a variation of penicillin.
I only hope it clears up before I see Mr Choudrhi next Tuesday
It was only after I took off my shirt that I saw the angry red / pink marks running alongside the cut. I knew there were not there 2 hours earlier, and had Marg take a look. She thought it looked infected (so did I) and a visit to the docs was called for. So we went, and now I have even more tablets to take, this time they are a variation of penicillin.
I only hope it clears up before I see Mr Choudrhi next Tuesday
Thursday 28 February 2008
A visit from the nurse
A few days ago I got a phone call from the district nurse asking if she could come and check thinkgs out with me, just to make sure that the scars were healing ok and so on. Well she came the day before yesterday and what a mine of information she was. She gave me the once over, checking that nothing was going wrong on the outside at least, then went on to check my BP and pulse rate and so on.
She than asked if I had any questions. I just had to raise the one about the pain I've been having. It's really tricky, because you wonder if you're just being a wimp, but the pain has been really getting to me for days now. I seem to take the tablets, but they don't give any relief. She listened carefully, then checked my tablets and the dosage. It seems like I have been taking them in the wrong way. Instead of taking the tablest in turn at roughly two hour intervals, I need to take them as a cocktail. She explained this very carefully to us both, and theres no doubt there is a vast improvement in pain reduction.
She than asked if I had any questions. I just had to raise the one about the pain I've been having. It's really tricky, because you wonder if you're just being a wimp, but the pain has been really getting to me for days now. I seem to take the tablets, but they don't give any relief. She listened carefully, then checked my tablets and the dosage. It seems like I have been taking them in the wrong way. Instead of taking the tablest in turn at roughly two hour intervals, I need to take them as a cocktail. She explained this very carefully to us both, and theres no doubt there is a vast improvement in pain reduction.
Saturday 23 February 2008
An update
It's nearly a week now since I wrote to the blog so maybe it's time for an update. By and large, it's been a pretty good week. I've had my ups and downs, but things are generally improving - slowly. The chest pain is still something that I do battle with daily. It seems worst when I wake up and later in the evening. My walking distance has improved markedly. I can now walk probably a couple of miles without any distress. I may get a little breathless, but that is nothing compared to how it used to be.
One thing that is causing me a little concern though is my digestive system. I think worry is too strong a word for it, but I'm a bit concerned by it. It seems that no matter how hungry I feel - and sometimes I feel very hungry - I can only eat maybe half of my meal before I start to feel nauseous. I rarely am actually sick, but it seems to happen with almost every meal. Also my weight seems to be piling on again in spite of the problem. I lost nearly 2 stone in hospital (that's 28 pounds for trans Atlantic readers), and I was hoping to keep it off, especially as the doc wants even more off, but my weight keeps increasing. I have no idea how to counteract this. I don't eat much - less than the rest of my family, and yet I seem to be putting on about a pound a week.
I suppose being diabetic doesn't help, but it's a funny going on when I take more exercise than for many years, eat less than I used to and generally live a healthier life the weight just keeps going up. How do you explain that then?
One thing that is causing me a little concern though is my digestive system. I think worry is too strong a word for it, but I'm a bit concerned by it. It seems that no matter how hungry I feel - and sometimes I feel very hungry - I can only eat maybe half of my meal before I start to feel nauseous. I rarely am actually sick, but it seems to happen with almost every meal. Also my weight seems to be piling on again in spite of the problem. I lost nearly 2 stone in hospital (that's 28 pounds for trans Atlantic readers), and I was hoping to keep it off, especially as the doc wants even more off, but my weight keeps increasing. I have no idea how to counteract this. I don't eat much - less than the rest of my family, and yet I seem to be putting on about a pound a week.
I suppose being diabetic doesn't help, but it's a funny going on when I take more exercise than for many years, eat less than I used to and generally live a healthier life the weight just keeps going up. How do you explain that then?
Sunday 17 February 2008
A tip for the pain...
I don't want to sound ungrateful, but sometimes pain is a real issue. Even now, just over a month since the op I have problems with it. I suppose it's the same old story, I get good days and bad days. Yesterday was a bad one. I spent nearly all day muttering and grizzling about how much my chest hurt. It wears people down - including me. Marg, has got problems of her own. I think all the stress and worry has caused her to have a recurrance of her old injury, the neck spasm and frozen shoulder, and that's no joke either, believe me. Life is such fun in our house just now...
I've been popping painkillers like they're going out of fashion, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. Its definately a series of high and lows. I get terrific pleasure from walking at a reasonable speed, but sometimes the nights are sleepless and painful. I think I may have stumbled onto an answer though.
As I said Marg, has been suffering from a frozen shoulder, and Cheryl loaned her a "wheat bag", I'd never heard of these, but they are rather like the bean bags you used to get in school, but longer and loosely filled with wheat seeds. You simply pop them in the microwave for a minute or so to warm up and drape them over the affected part. The relief is amazing! I stole Margs for a few hours overnight (she sleeps reasonably ok, while I don't) and had my first decent night for - well for a long time. I feel so much better today - in fact I'm writing this before I get dressed.
It's later now, and we've been for a walk. I just worked it out and I reckon that we covered just under two miles in about 45 minutes! Thats going some - at least compared to how slow I used to be. I feel so much better on the whole, and I don't want to give the wrong impression. While pain is a problem, it's not insurmountable, and the feeling I get from a good brisk walk I can't put into words. Slightly under two miles and slightly over one month from the op - now that looks pretty good to me!
I've been popping painkillers like they're going out of fashion, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. Its definately a series of high and lows. I get terrific pleasure from walking at a reasonable speed, but sometimes the nights are sleepless and painful. I think I may have stumbled onto an answer though.
As I said Marg, has been suffering from a frozen shoulder, and Cheryl loaned her a "wheat bag", I'd never heard of these, but they are rather like the bean bags you used to get in school, but longer and loosely filled with wheat seeds. You simply pop them in the microwave for a minute or so to warm up and drape them over the affected part. The relief is amazing! I stole Margs for a few hours overnight (she sleeps reasonably ok, while I don't) and had my first decent night for - well for a long time. I feel so much better today - in fact I'm writing this before I get dressed.
It's later now, and we've been for a walk. I just worked it out and I reckon that we covered just under two miles in about 45 minutes! Thats going some - at least compared to how slow I used to be. I feel so much better on the whole, and I don't want to give the wrong impression. While pain is a problem, it's not insurmountable, and the feeling I get from a good brisk walk I can't put into words. Slightly under two miles and slightly over one month from the op - now that looks pretty good to me!
Thursday 14 February 2008
Valentines Day
Today is Valentines Day, the annual argument day in our house. Ever since I've known Marg I've never bought her a valentine. Its something that I loathe somehow. I always feel like I'm being manipulated by the marketing industry and I just rebel against it. Marg, on the other and thinks it's "nice" and something that does no harm. We differ - strongly at times. However, this year is the exception that proves the rule. I remember how wonderful it was to see her when I was feeling at deaths door in hospital, and resolved not to be so petty and tightfisted - so...
I did it! I bought her some ridiculously overpriced red roses, and arranged delivery to her work. I swallowed my pride, clenched my credit card firmly and paid on (and through) the nose! Then sat back waiting for the hugs and kisses...
Well, the best laid plans...I arranged for the flowers to be delivered to her work - and Marg went to the docs the day before delivery (when it was about 30 seconds too late to alter anything) and got herself put off sick. As I write this, she's sat downstairs, gently moaning with pain, and the flowers are speeding their way to the other side of the city!
Sometimes life really IS a bugger, don't you think?
I did it! I bought her some ridiculously overpriced red roses, and arranged delivery to her work. I swallowed my pride, clenched my credit card firmly and paid on (and through) the nose! Then sat back waiting for the hugs and kisses...
Well, the best laid plans...I arranged for the flowers to be delivered to her work - and Marg went to the docs the day before delivery (when it was about 30 seconds too late to alter anything) and got herself put off sick. As I write this, she's sat downstairs, gently moaning with pain, and the flowers are speeding their way to the other side of the city!
Sometimes life really IS a bugger, don't you think?
Wednesday 6 February 2008
The last daily post
I’ve been thinking about the blog. I don’t want it to become a succession of posts all saying virtually the same thing. There is no doubt that I’m feeling better, stronger and fitter than I did when I left hospital, but there is a limit on how many times I can repeat that. The next event of any importance is my return to Hull to see Mr Choudhris team again and see how I’m going on, but that isn’t until March 3rd. I’ll post the results and hopefully a progress report too, but this will be the last of my daily postings.
Tuesday 5 February 2008
Another day, another target...
I've had quite a good day today. Somehow it's been on more of an even keel, I suppose. Most days I wake up and tend to rush around, making efforts to do things and getting breathless and fed up. Today I paced myself a little more and feel better for it.
Near where we live is a huge shopping park. Its something of a mixed blessing, but it does provide an easy yardstick as to how much progress I'm making with walking. Over the past week I have gradually worked on increasing the distance slightly each day, and today I reached our first shop. Today Argos, tomorrow B&Q, then Tesco, then who knows.
I also realised that a short sleep in the afternoon gives back much more time that it takes. Normally since leaving hospital I've been tired and I suppose a bit irritable by 9 pm. This afternoon I has a short kip, say 45 minutes or maybe an hour, and I feel much better this evening. I'm not up to taking she-who-must-be-obeyed out for a bop yet, but I feel much less tired and in a better frame of mind. Here's hoping it continues.
On another note, my daughter, Cheryl tells me she sent a link to the blog to her friend in Australia. So welcome Trish (or Oz, if you prefer), hope you're having a bonza time, and if you make it to the wedding I'll be glad to shake your hand. Cheers kiddo
Near where we live is a huge shopping park. Its something of a mixed blessing, but it does provide an easy yardstick as to how much progress I'm making with walking. Over the past week I have gradually worked on increasing the distance slightly each day, and today I reached our first shop. Today Argos, tomorrow B&Q, then Tesco, then who knows.
I also realised that a short sleep in the afternoon gives back much more time that it takes. Normally since leaving hospital I've been tired and I suppose a bit irritable by 9 pm. This afternoon I has a short kip, say 45 minutes or maybe an hour, and I feel much better this evening. I'm not up to taking she-who-must-be-obeyed out for a bop yet, but I feel much less tired and in a better frame of mind. Here's hoping it continues.
On another note, my daughter, Cheryl tells me she sent a link to the blog to her friend in Australia. So welcome Trish (or Oz, if you prefer), hope you're having a bonza time, and if you make it to the wedding I'll be glad to shake your hand. Cheers kiddo
Monday 4 February 2008
Back to the docs...and a sneeze!
Another lovely morning sunny and bright, but cold. Marg and I checked through the drug store that is my supply and realised that in a couple of days I'd need some more. So we made a list (a long list!) and made an appointment to see the doc to get a prescription. I was quite pleased to go because I wanted a little reassurance. You see, some days I feel pretty good, others feel like I've been hit by a freight train.
So in the surgery the doc gave me the once over. I seem to be doing pretty well by and large. he checked me out thouroughly, BP and pulse, checked the scars, asked how I felt and so on. I told him how I felt a bit up and down sometimes. He gave me a good talking to, I suppose you could say.
I've just had a pretty big job done (he said) I've had my chest opened, my heart stopped for at least half an hour, been on a heart/lung machine, a ventilator and had my kidneys fail - all within the last 3 weeks. So do I expect to feel on top of the world?
I suppose when it's put like that maybe I am asking rather a lot from this body of mine. I left the surgery feeling pretty good on the whole and Marg took me for a short drive in the car really just for a change of scene, which I enjoyed.
This evening, befre posting this blog though, I sneezed. All I can say to anyone following my path is for goodness sake, don't sneeze! I daren't open my eyes in case I saw my lungs gracfully draped over the wall opposite, sliding down toward the floor! Yes, it hurt - lots! but everything held together, and now I'm no worse for it. But it's most definately an eperience to miss if you have any choice about it!
So in the surgery the doc gave me the once over. I seem to be doing pretty well by and large. he checked me out thouroughly, BP and pulse, checked the scars, asked how I felt and so on. I told him how I felt a bit up and down sometimes. He gave me a good talking to, I suppose you could say.
I've just had a pretty big job done (he said) I've had my chest opened, my heart stopped for at least half an hour, been on a heart/lung machine, a ventilator and had my kidneys fail - all within the last 3 weeks. So do I expect to feel on top of the world?
I suppose when it's put like that maybe I am asking rather a lot from this body of mine. I left the surgery feeling pretty good on the whole and Marg took me for a short drive in the car really just for a change of scene, which I enjoyed.
This evening, befre posting this blog though, I sneezed. All I can say to anyone following my path is for goodness sake, don't sneeze! I daren't open my eyes in case I saw my lungs gracfully draped over the wall opposite, sliding down toward the floor! Yes, it hurt - lots! but everything held together, and now I'm no worse for it. But it's most definately an eperience to miss if you have any choice about it!
Saturday 2 February 2008
So, week since discharge and I'm feeling pretty good by and large. Marg and I went for a walk this morning. Near our house is a small lake. On a summer evening it's a pleasant walk around it, and I wanted to give it a go this morning. Again, it was cold, but that holds no terrors for me now, so we set off. About half-way round there is a small rise, hardly worthy of being called a hill, but it used to stop me pretty well every time. Today I zoomed up it - no problem!
The only fly in the ointment was that the way back home was very muddy, so we detoured around the streets. That proved to be a a bridge too far, in a manner of speaking. I made it round, but I was pretty knackered by the time we got home. Tomorrow is another day though, and we'll be out again. I say "we" because marg feels that I'm rather like a child and quite likely to go and play football or something (I'm not), but she's taking no chances and not letting me out of her sight...
Oh, one more thing worthy of mentioning. My daughter and future son-in-law came to visit this morning. They've only put me forward for the London Marathon! I've even got my entry number (17491 from memory)- the little buggers! However, he who laughs last...I still have my "Father of the Bride" speech to write, be afraid Cheryl, be very afraid!
The only fly in the ointment was that the way back home was very muddy, so we detoured around the streets. That proved to be a a bridge too far, in a manner of speaking. I made it round, but I was pretty knackered by the time we got home. Tomorrow is another day though, and we'll be out again. I say "we" because marg feels that I'm rather like a child and quite likely to go and play football or something (I'm not), but she's taking no chances and not letting me out of her sight...
Oh, one more thing worthy of mentioning. My daughter and future son-in-law came to visit this morning. They've only put me forward for the London Marathon! I've even got my entry number (17491 from memory)- the little buggers! However, he who laughs last...I still have my "Father of the Bride" speech to write, be afraid Cheryl, be very afraid!
Thursday 31 January 2008
Day 5
Its two weeks today since the op, so maybe it's time to take stock a little. Two weeks, just a summer holiday, and yet it's a time that has turned my life around.
Todays weather has been cold and windy, just the weather to keep me inside normally, and yet we went for a short walk this morning. Again, it wasn't far, but it was something I would have avoided like the plague only 15 days ago. Another landmark is that I actually managed to take Marg some breakfast in bed this morning! I used to do that every day ( I bet she missed it while I was away), and I got a real kick from doing it today.
So; the pros: Well, there's not a trace of Angina - not a jot, not a chest pain of any description. I do get breathless easily, but that is to be expected and doesn't cause me any real concern. I'm pretty sure my stamina will improve with time, and I feel GREAT!
I've noticed several rather odd effects since coming home. I've found pulses where I never knew I had them. Reading with my head against the bedhead produces one, and I have to say it feels rather strange.
My taste seems to have changed. I really don't fancy toast anymore, and I've always liked it, but now, I just don't want any. If it's offered I just turn my nose up at it. Strange eh?
My temperature seems to vary. One moment I'm hot, then chilly. The book said to expect this, but its a rather weird sensation, not unlike having flu, but without any of the other symptoms
The cons? Well, none really. My chest still hurts, but that is from the cut and must be expected. I also feel that it's "good pain" somehow, a healing pain is maybe the best way I can put it - and anyway I only take paracetamol for it, as and when required.
So as a progress report, I'm feeling pretty chipper.
One thing that does make me hurt is laughing, and Marg did for me last night! I suppose that you could say that it's a quote that you never expect to hear from your wife. She said, as we lay in bed "Oooh those stockings do feel funny on your legs." Now don't get the wrong idea, I have to wear support stockings for a few weeks but I cracked up and couldn't stop - and it hurt like hell!
Todays weather has been cold and windy, just the weather to keep me inside normally, and yet we went for a short walk this morning. Again, it wasn't far, but it was something I would have avoided like the plague only 15 days ago. Another landmark is that I actually managed to take Marg some breakfast in bed this morning! I used to do that every day ( I bet she missed it while I was away), and I got a real kick from doing it today.
So; the pros: Well, there's not a trace of Angina - not a jot, not a chest pain of any description. I do get breathless easily, but that is to be expected and doesn't cause me any real concern. I'm pretty sure my stamina will improve with time, and I feel GREAT!
I've noticed several rather odd effects since coming home. I've found pulses where I never knew I had them. Reading with my head against the bedhead produces one, and I have to say it feels rather strange.
My taste seems to have changed. I really don't fancy toast anymore, and I've always liked it, but now, I just don't want any. If it's offered I just turn my nose up at it. Strange eh?
My temperature seems to vary. One moment I'm hot, then chilly. The book said to expect this, but its a rather weird sensation, not unlike having flu, but without any of the other symptoms
The cons? Well, none really. My chest still hurts, but that is from the cut and must be expected. I also feel that it's "good pain" somehow, a healing pain is maybe the best way I can put it - and anyway I only take paracetamol for it, as and when required.
So as a progress report, I'm feeling pretty chipper.
One thing that does make me hurt is laughing, and Marg did for me last night! I suppose that you could say that it's a quote that you never expect to hear from your wife. She said, as we lay in bed "Oooh those stockings do feel funny on your legs." Now don't get the wrong idea, I have to wear support stockings for a few weeks but I cracked up and couldn't stop - and it hurt like hell!
Wednesday 30 January 2008
My wife
It's just occured to me that in all this blog I've only called my wife, "My wife", maybe it's time I introduced her properly.
Her name is Margaret - but only when I'm mad at her, normally she's Marg (as in Margarita, not Marge as in Simpson). Next month we'll have been married for 37 years, so I suppose she's sort of stuck with me now - maybe it's because I know when I'm on a good thing!
Being serious, those who have followed this blog so far will realise how close we are, and she has the knack of having just the right mixture of being both sympathetic and firm at the same time. She's a pretty amazing woman, and she'll kill me for posting this, but she really is one in a million...
Her name is Margaret - but only when I'm mad at her, normally she's Marg (as in Margarita, not Marge as in Simpson). Next month we'll have been married for 37 years, so I suppose she's sort of stuck with me now - maybe it's because I know when I'm on a good thing!
Being serious, those who have followed this blog so far will realise how close we are, and she has the knack of having just the right mixture of being both sympathetic and firm at the same time. She's a pretty amazing woman, and she'll kill me for posting this, but she really is one in a million...
Day 4
Another beautiful day, sun shining, crisp and cold. Just the sort I enjoy. I got up and I have to admit to feeling a bit shaky, but a shower works wonders and I felt so much better afterwards. Had my usual porridge for breakfast and then we went for a short walk around the block. It wasn't far at all, but what a difference fresh air makes to you. Somehow your lungs seem to fill and you feel more alive.
We called in on our neighbours Harry and June and spent a little time with them, chatting and drinking their tea, then back home to spend the rest of the day fairly quietly. I've decided that in the first flush of enthusiasm on Sunday I went a bit overboard and did too much. Having re-read the guidance in the book that I was given, far too much, so I'm pacing myself a little more now.
We called in on our neighbours Harry and June and spent a little time with them, chatting and drinking their tea, then back home to spend the rest of the day fairly quietly. I've decided that in the first flush of enthusiasm on Sunday I went a bit overboard and did too much. Having re-read the guidance in the book that I was given, far too much, so I'm pacing myself a little more now.
Tuesday 29 January 2008
Day3
I spent a quiet day today. I just stayed in and sat. I still feel a bit groggy from yesterday, but I'm at least 95% better. I've cut back on the painkillers and seem to be better for it. Although the pain has increased a little, it's nothing that I can't handle and I hate popping pills at the best of times.
So nothing much to report, no triumphs, but no setbacks either. Lets see how I go tomorrow when I'm determined to get out and get some walking done
So nothing much to report, no triumphs, but no setbacks either. Lets see how I go tomorrow when I'm determined to get out and get some walking done
Day 2
From the high of yesterday to the deepest low of today. I woke up in the early hours and went to get a drink. Sat in the living room idly channel hopping the TV. I suddenly, for no reason, felt sick. Its hard to explain, I'm sure you know the feeling. You're going to vomit, regardless of what you do or try, it's going to regardless. Well that how I felt and that's what happened. I can't begin to describe the pain, and somehow I just couldn't stop. It was like a cycle that once started didn't end until something was produced - and I had nothing to give. It was truly dreadful.
I staggered back to bed and slept a while, then woke again feeling just as bad. My wife called the doctor who advised coming off one of the painkillers, but I don't know whether that helped or not. The vomiting continued until mid morning, by which time I was completely drained.
I spent most of the rest of the day in bed, in an awful mixture of sleep and pain, but got up in the evening feeling marginally better. I didn't eat anything all day and only had some scramble egg in the evening, but it was enough to line my stomach and I went back to be feling a lot better.
I suppose one has to expect the occasional setback, but after such a great day yesterday it was pretty hard to take. I went back to bed and slept again but reawakened in the early hours again. Hoping against hope that I wasn't going to have a re-run I went back downstairs to get a drink. Fortunately the only thng I caught was my son sneaking in after a late night with his girlfriend - don't ask!
I staggered back to bed and slept a while, then woke again feeling just as bad. My wife called the doctor who advised coming off one of the painkillers, but I don't know whether that helped or not. The vomiting continued until mid morning, by which time I was completely drained.
I spent most of the rest of the day in bed, in an awful mixture of sleep and pain, but got up in the evening feeling marginally better. I didn't eat anything all day and only had some scramble egg in the evening, but it was enough to line my stomach and I went back to be feling a lot better.
I suppose one has to expect the occasional setback, but after such a great day yesterday it was pretty hard to take. I went back to bed and slept again but reawakened in the early hours again. Hoping against hope that I wasn't going to have a re-run I went back downstairs to get a drink. Fortunately the only thng I caught was my son sneaking in after a late night with his girlfriend - don't ask!
Day 1
What a wonderful day! I felt fitter than I've felt in years - sure I had a bit of pain, but that was nothing compared to the feeling of inner strength. I couldn't wait to see how I could do, and My wife and I went for a short walk in the morning. We walked , but not for far. Over the small rise that had nearly always had me puffing for breath, without a pause, and at a pace that I could never have kept up only 2 weeks before.
We got home again, both of us grinning like idiots. My wife made me sit down again, though I didn't want to and we stayed in for the rest of the morning. In the afternoon my daughter and her fiance came to visit and we all did the same walk again. The difference really is amazing . I can walk at a good brisk pace certainly for 400 yards or so, maybe a bit more. Who knows maybe I'll run for a bus yet!
A perfect day, absolutely perfect
We got home again, both of us grinning like idiots. My wife made me sit down again, though I didn't want to and we stayed in for the rest of the morning. In the afternoon my daughter and her fiance came to visit and we all did the same walk again. The difference really is amazing . I can walk at a good brisk pace certainly for 400 yards or so, maybe a bit more. Who knows maybe I'll run for a bus yet!
A perfect day, absolutely perfect
Sunday 27 January 2008
The hospital
For reasons that will become clear this post will have to be a retrospective. I only got home yesterday after the operation, but I'll try to get down what has happened over the past few days.
We went to Castle Hill as a family. I suppose we must have looked a bit like people on a day trip or something. I checked in and was shown to my room - yes, a private room, not just a bed on a ward. There we waited until one of the nurses did the work up on my history. There followed a succesion of people who more or less asked the same questions and filled in different forms with the answers. The last person to visit was my surgeon, Mr Choudrhi. A small, dapper man he oozed confidence and inspired so much more, in both myself and my family. Some people have the ability to inspire trust on sight, and Mr Choudrhi is one of them. He told us all exactly what would happen and pretty much what to expect. After he left we all looked at each other and came to the same conclusion - I couldn't be in better hands.
Having said all the things families do at such times we parted and they went home leaving me in the capable hands of the nurse in charge, Julia.
The long wait began.
I was collected for surgery the following morning at about 11 am. I climbed on to the trolley and was wheeled away by a jocular porter, cracking jokes all the way while I lay back and watched the ceiling lights pass overhead, just like in the film Coma, and feeling just as out of control.
In the ante room I was hooked up to many lines and drips by another band of wisecracking medics. It seemed almost surreal to me, I was petrified and they thought of so many funny lines that I had no choice but to at least smile. Finally I heard some one say "Just one more", then - nothing.
I vaguely remember coming to and being given instructions to move in various positions to help get the various drains from my body, then slept again. At sometime I awoke and found my family around me. I remember thinking that at least I'd made it, and and the smiles of encouragement from them. Of course we talked, but what of, I have no idea. Time drifted past in a mixture of deep sleep and drowsiness.
It was sometime later that I woke again, this time feeling really terrible. I can't describe how I felt except to say the I knew I was on my way out of this world. I didn't think it, I knew it. Again I can only remember bits of what went on, but I asked for my wife to be brought. I was desperate to see her, and desperate is the right word. I remember hearing that, "his potassium levels are very high" and thinking that's the drug they give to people being executed to stop the heart. It seemed ironic to get this far and croak at the last - and I still hadn't seen my wife.
Eventually she arrived, having driven the 40 miles or so to be there. She brought my children too and I'll never forget the looks of concern on their faces, or just how wonderful my wife looked at that moment. I held their hands like there was no tomorrow - as indeed I was convinced there wasn't.
From what I have been told, my family stayed with me all day while I drifted in and out of awareness. It seems that my kidneys had failed to re-start properly and this was causing the problem. Again the staff were on top of the situation, and a dialysis machine was wheeled in and my body prepared for dialysis. In the event the kidneys started to recover after being given many drugs to aid their progress. So a scheduled one days stay in ICU turned into 5 nights, most of which is smething of a blur.
I was discharged from ICU on the Tuesday morning without really having chance to thank the wonderful nurses who cared for me on a one to one basis. How quickly their names are fading. Those I can remember were Adam, Zaraina and Debbie. It's a crazy world when these people that we meet so briefly can have such a profound effect on our lives and just slip into distant dreams. I want to thank all of them here for thier care and compassion.
I was moved from ICU to the High Dependancy Ward and met more wonderful people who treated me incredibly well. Its the little touches that make the difference, the way the breakfast lady made me porridge just for me, the way the nurses smile, and I suppose just the general caring attitude throughout the place. Slowly I grew stronger and was able to take first just a few guided steps, then something really adventurous - a visit to the loo - solo!
My family visited me daily. I dread to think how many miles they put on the car, or the cost of the fuel, but I was so pleased to see them, and so sad to see the leave again.
Finally I took the test that would decide whether or not I went home - the dreaded stair case. Two flights of stairs to be climbed, before being wheeled back to the ward.
I did it!
I knew I was on the home straight then, and became a regular pain asking to be discharged at every second verse. I finally was on Saturday 26th Jan, and rode home in style with my daughter driving me and missing every pothole. Oh man It's great to be home!
We went to Castle Hill as a family. I suppose we must have looked a bit like people on a day trip or something. I checked in and was shown to my room - yes, a private room, not just a bed on a ward. There we waited until one of the nurses did the work up on my history. There followed a succesion of people who more or less asked the same questions and filled in different forms with the answers. The last person to visit was my surgeon, Mr Choudrhi. A small, dapper man he oozed confidence and inspired so much more, in both myself and my family. Some people have the ability to inspire trust on sight, and Mr Choudrhi is one of them. He told us all exactly what would happen and pretty much what to expect. After he left we all looked at each other and came to the same conclusion - I couldn't be in better hands.
Having said all the things families do at such times we parted and they went home leaving me in the capable hands of the nurse in charge, Julia.
The long wait began.
I was collected for surgery the following morning at about 11 am. I climbed on to the trolley and was wheeled away by a jocular porter, cracking jokes all the way while I lay back and watched the ceiling lights pass overhead, just like in the film Coma, and feeling just as out of control.
In the ante room I was hooked up to many lines and drips by another band of wisecracking medics. It seemed almost surreal to me, I was petrified and they thought of so many funny lines that I had no choice but to at least smile. Finally I heard some one say "Just one more", then - nothing.
I vaguely remember coming to and being given instructions to move in various positions to help get the various drains from my body, then slept again. At sometime I awoke and found my family around me. I remember thinking that at least I'd made it, and and the smiles of encouragement from them. Of course we talked, but what of, I have no idea. Time drifted past in a mixture of deep sleep and drowsiness.
It was sometime later that I woke again, this time feeling really terrible. I can't describe how I felt except to say the I knew I was on my way out of this world. I didn't think it, I knew it. Again I can only remember bits of what went on, but I asked for my wife to be brought. I was desperate to see her, and desperate is the right word. I remember hearing that, "his potassium levels are very high" and thinking that's the drug they give to people being executed to stop the heart. It seemed ironic to get this far and croak at the last - and I still hadn't seen my wife.
Eventually she arrived, having driven the 40 miles or so to be there. She brought my children too and I'll never forget the looks of concern on their faces, or just how wonderful my wife looked at that moment. I held their hands like there was no tomorrow - as indeed I was convinced there wasn't.
From what I have been told, my family stayed with me all day while I drifted in and out of awareness. It seems that my kidneys had failed to re-start properly and this was causing the problem. Again the staff were on top of the situation, and a dialysis machine was wheeled in and my body prepared for dialysis. In the event the kidneys started to recover after being given many drugs to aid their progress. So a scheduled one days stay in ICU turned into 5 nights, most of which is smething of a blur.
I was discharged from ICU on the Tuesday morning without really having chance to thank the wonderful nurses who cared for me on a one to one basis. How quickly their names are fading. Those I can remember were Adam, Zaraina and Debbie. It's a crazy world when these people that we meet so briefly can have such a profound effect on our lives and just slip into distant dreams. I want to thank all of them here for thier care and compassion.
I was moved from ICU to the High Dependancy Ward and met more wonderful people who treated me incredibly well. Its the little touches that make the difference, the way the breakfast lady made me porridge just for me, the way the nurses smile, and I suppose just the general caring attitude throughout the place. Slowly I grew stronger and was able to take first just a few guided steps, then something really adventurous - a visit to the loo - solo!
My family visited me daily. I dread to think how many miles they put on the car, or the cost of the fuel, but I was so pleased to see them, and so sad to see the leave again.
Finally I took the test that would decide whether or not I went home - the dreaded stair case. Two flights of stairs to be climbed, before being wheeled back to the ward.
I did it!
I knew I was on the home straight then, and became a regular pain asking to be discharged at every second verse. I finally was on Saturday 26th Jan, and rode home in style with my daughter driving me and missing every pothole. Oh man It's great to be home!
Wednesday 16 January 2008
Thanks everyone
Its Wednesday about 11am, and this will be the last post before the op. I was taken aback yesterday by how many people wished me well. Its really quite humbling that so many people care. So this is for everyone who has wished me well. I don't know how many, if any, read this blog, but I'm saying to everyone, family, friends home and abroad and customers a heartfelt thanks - and if good wishes will do the trick - I'll be through this in no time.
One small point. I remember saying at one point that I was more scared of the dentist than of the op. Well - I lied !
One small point. I remember saying at one point that I was more scared of the dentist than of the op. Well - I lied !
Monday 14 January 2008
GOT THE DATE !
I was driving along just minding my own business today, when my mobile rang. It was my son, telling me in an ominous tone of voice that I "had a phone message." He really sounded quite upset, so I sort of guessed that it was going to be from Hull, and it was. The message was to ring the surgeons secretary, which of course I did as soon as I got in. There has been a cancellation and my name was next on the list, would I like to have the operation on Thursday? I didn't give myself time for nerves to kick in, I just went for it and said "YES" loud and clear.
So, I'm committed. I have to go into hospital on Wednesday afternoon, so they can manage me pre-op, then have the op on Thursday. Am I nervous? Yes, a bit, quite a lot really, but I really just want to be well again, and I'm almost (but not quite!) looking forward to it. I'm pretty sure that I'll add to this post before I go, but just at the moment I'm a bit jittery and find it a bit tricky to concentrate on much
So, I'm committed. I have to go into hospital on Wednesday afternoon, so they can manage me pre-op, then have the op on Thursday. Am I nervous? Yes, a bit, quite a lot really, but I really just want to be well again, and I'm almost (but not quite!) looking forward to it. I'm pretty sure that I'll add to this post before I go, but just at the moment I'm a bit jittery and find it a bit tricky to concentrate on much
Saturday 12 January 2008
Last nights dance
Well we went, and we had quite a good time all in all. Its strange how, although we only meet up once a year, I seem to have become quite good friends with a few of my wife's work colleagues and their wives / husbands. I think it maybe that the actual employees of the place are so busy talking shop and so on, that we partners have to make our own conversation, but whatever, I was a little surprised and very grateful to receive so many good wishes from so many different people.
One of the things that seems to have changed a lot in today's society is the way people greet each other. It now seems obligatory to kiss ladies on the cheek, ladies who I hardly know, and I have to say that I'm not comfortable doing it. To me it seems false somehow. I mean I do only see these ladies once a year, and the "air kiss" is something reserved for my closest female friends and relatives really. However, it's quite a rarity for a man of my age to be able to hug a young girl and not get his face slapped, that I took full advantage last night.
One of the people who I hardly know is a director of the company, but he took me to one side and told me how he had had a by-pass done 10 years ago and that it really was the best thing to happen to him - ever. Judging from the way he was dancing and the energy that he had, I must believe him. I really hope I can be like it too. It would be really great to reassure someone in my position some years hence, and maybe even point them to this blog. We'll see.
We had a nice time and renewed acquaintances with several people. I managed a couple of dances (well, more like one-and-as half, really) and stayed sober all night. My son was pretty disappointed by this as the spectator sport is watching me lean on the edge of the living room door trying (vainly) to balance after one or two too many G&Ts.
The only fly in the ointment was that I had a really dreadful night after turning in. I lost count of how many times angina woke me, but it was many times. I try not to wake my wife, but she's as nervous as a kitten about me just now. In the normal course of events I would have taken myself off to the spare room, but it's pretty full at the moment and I couldn't face moving stuff around. I try to sleep sat upright, but as I doze off I slide down the pillow which provokes an angina episode. To be honest I'm pretty fed up about it and glad that things are coming to the end.
One of the things that seems to have changed a lot in today's society is the way people greet each other. It now seems obligatory to kiss ladies on the cheek, ladies who I hardly know, and I have to say that I'm not comfortable doing it. To me it seems false somehow. I mean I do only see these ladies once a year, and the "air kiss" is something reserved for my closest female friends and relatives really. However, it's quite a rarity for a man of my age to be able to hug a young girl and not get his face slapped, that I took full advantage last night.
One of the people who I hardly know is a director of the company, but he took me to one side and told me how he had had a by-pass done 10 years ago and that it really was the best thing to happen to him - ever. Judging from the way he was dancing and the energy that he had, I must believe him. I really hope I can be like it too. It would be really great to reassure someone in my position some years hence, and maybe even point them to this blog. We'll see.
We had a nice time and renewed acquaintances with several people. I managed a couple of dances (well, more like one-and-as half, really) and stayed sober all night. My son was pretty disappointed by this as the spectator sport is watching me lean on the edge of the living room door trying (vainly) to balance after one or two too many G&Ts.
The only fly in the ointment was that I had a really dreadful night after turning in. I lost count of how many times angina woke me, but it was many times. I try not to wake my wife, but she's as nervous as a kitten about me just now. In the normal course of events I would have taken myself off to the spare room, but it's pretty full at the moment and I couldn't face moving stuff around. I try to sleep sat upright, but as I doze off I slide down the pillow which provokes an angina episode. To be honest I'm pretty fed up about it and glad that things are coming to the end.
Friday 11 January 2008
Tonights is just a very quick post. It's my wifes firms dinner dance and I'm all bathed, sweet smelling and ready to rave. So we're going, and I intend having a bloody good time - after all it'll be a little while before I get chance to go again. I might even give my wife a quick swirl around the floor. I quite enjoy a bop, but I get breathless about half-way through a record. So this year will be a bit "steady".
Next year, though, stand by for a real raver!
More news tomorrow - headache permitting...
Next year, though, stand by for a real raver!
More news tomorrow - headache permitting...
Wednesday 9 January 2008
The Assessment
Todays post could be quite a long one, and not just because of the assessment as you’ll see.
I had a bad night last night. Somehow I couldn’t sleep. I was worrying about going to Hull today and wondering what was going to be entailed in the assessment. I expected to feel a bit like a bug under a microscope but in the event the experience was not too bad at all. First though, we had to trauma of the bathroom…
Some little time ago, I had the misfortune to take a shower and have the bottom of the bath crack on me. This of course caused a few problems with water leaking and so on. I patched it up as best I could, but we needed a new bath – and quickly. My son works at a big DIY store, but we were warned off their baths as they are apparently very thin. Instead we opted for a (much) more expensive one. I just braced myself and paid. One of my wife’s friends is a plumber and he agreed to change the bath for us. He arrived smack on time at 7:30 am and set to work. Shortly afterwards he asked for the water to be turned off. I attempted to turn off the stop cock, but it had seized, and I couldn’t shift it. Jason had a look, he couldn’t shift it either, but my trying had started it leaking.
Happiness was not the word at that moment…
Jason went to turn off the water in the street, only to find the little hatch sealed closed by years of dust and rubbish, plus, when he did manage to open it the whole lot was full of clay covering all the tap. He’s a brilliant kid though and just set to work hauling out handfuls of freezing clay until he eventually found the tap three feet down the hole – and seized !
My stress levels were heading for the Stratosphere by now, as time was marching on and although we managed a shower that morning when we got up, I had visions of being without water for some time. Eventually Jason managed to turn off the water and everyone heaved a sigh of relief. We had to go shortly afterwards and set off for Hull, both wondering what we were going to find on our return. There is building work going on at Castle Hill Hospital, actually being done by my wife’s employer, and finding our way to the unit proved to be a little challenging, but we got there eventually, checked in and waited for a short time.
My name was called and I was taken off to a small ante room where I had an ECG taken. The lady who did it was a bit of a turn, and I left her company a few minutes later chuckling to myself. Another short wait, then I was called again, this time to see the specialist nurse, who turned out to be an absolute hoot!
Together with my wife, and another lady who came in to take blood samples, I was set upon by three female musketeers, all intent on making men feel insignificant – but in banter only. If I had a serious question then Jenny (the nurse) would answer it seriously, but she managed to keep the whole thing light. If anyone is reading this before they have the procedure, then I’d better get to the point and explain what is behind the assessment.
As far as I could see it was to allow me to ask questions, but also to check me out for allergies, infections and so on. One of the big fears is MRSA and I had nasal, groin and armpit swabs taken to check for that. It seems that about 40% of the population have it living in their noses (yuk) and never have any problems, but if they get weakened, for example, by surgery, then it can be fatal. It can also spread like wildfire among sick people, so it’s important to find out if you are carrier. If you do carry the bug, then it’s a very simple matter to rid you of it. Just nasal ointments and some anti biotic. Blood is taken presumably for typing and testing and you are weighed . In fact they give you a pretty full MOT including a chest x-ray.
Of course the nurse can’t really answer the one question everyone wants to ask “When will I have the op?”, but she gave me a pretty good idea. It’s likely to be between 1 to 4 weeks. As I have to stop taking one of my tablets for a week before the op, it looks like my guess about a fortnight may be about right.
Anyway, If you've waded through all this, the moral of this tale is - don't have a new bath fitted on the day of your assessment...
Oh, and there is one final bit of info, which I hadn't thought of, and really wish hadn't been mentioned - the catheter! Yes, they insert a catheter. Fortunately they insert after you're asleep, but it comes out two days later, while you're wide awake. Now isn't that something to look forward to!
I had a bad night last night. Somehow I couldn’t sleep. I was worrying about going to Hull today and wondering what was going to be entailed in the assessment. I expected to feel a bit like a bug under a microscope but in the event the experience was not too bad at all. First though, we had to trauma of the bathroom…
Some little time ago, I had the misfortune to take a shower and have the bottom of the bath crack on me. This of course caused a few problems with water leaking and so on. I patched it up as best I could, but we needed a new bath – and quickly. My son works at a big DIY store, but we were warned off their baths as they are apparently very thin. Instead we opted for a (much) more expensive one. I just braced myself and paid. One of my wife’s friends is a plumber and he agreed to change the bath for us. He arrived smack on time at 7:30 am and set to work. Shortly afterwards he asked for the water to be turned off. I attempted to turn off the stop cock, but it had seized, and I couldn’t shift it. Jason had a look, he couldn’t shift it either, but my trying had started it leaking.
Happiness was not the word at that moment…
Jason went to turn off the water in the street, only to find the little hatch sealed closed by years of dust and rubbish, plus, when he did manage to open it the whole lot was full of clay covering all the tap. He’s a brilliant kid though and just set to work hauling out handfuls of freezing clay until he eventually found the tap three feet down the hole – and seized !
My stress levels were heading for the Stratosphere by now, as time was marching on and although we managed a shower that morning when we got up, I had visions of being without water for some time. Eventually Jason managed to turn off the water and everyone heaved a sigh of relief. We had to go shortly afterwards and set off for Hull, both wondering what we were going to find on our return. There is building work going on at Castle Hill Hospital, actually being done by my wife’s employer, and finding our way to the unit proved to be a little challenging, but we got there eventually, checked in and waited for a short time.
My name was called and I was taken off to a small ante room where I had an ECG taken. The lady who did it was a bit of a turn, and I left her company a few minutes later chuckling to myself. Another short wait, then I was called again, this time to see the specialist nurse, who turned out to be an absolute hoot!
Together with my wife, and another lady who came in to take blood samples, I was set upon by three female musketeers, all intent on making men feel insignificant – but in banter only. If I had a serious question then Jenny (the nurse) would answer it seriously, but she managed to keep the whole thing light. If anyone is reading this before they have the procedure, then I’d better get to the point and explain what is behind the assessment.
As far as I could see it was to allow me to ask questions, but also to check me out for allergies, infections and so on. One of the big fears is MRSA and I had nasal, groin and armpit swabs taken to check for that. It seems that about 40% of the population have it living in their noses (yuk) and never have any problems, but if they get weakened, for example, by surgery, then it can be fatal. It can also spread like wildfire among sick people, so it’s important to find out if you are carrier. If you do carry the bug, then it’s a very simple matter to rid you of it. Just nasal ointments and some anti biotic. Blood is taken presumably for typing and testing and you are weighed . In fact they give you a pretty full MOT including a chest x-ray.
Of course the nurse can’t really answer the one question everyone wants to ask “When will I have the op?”, but she gave me a pretty good idea. It’s likely to be between 1 to 4 weeks. As I have to stop taking one of my tablets for a week before the op, it looks like my guess about a fortnight may be about right.
Anyway, If you've waded through all this, the moral of this tale is - don't have a new bath fitted on the day of your assessment...
Oh, and there is one final bit of info, which I hadn't thought of, and really wish hadn't been mentioned - the catheter! Yes, they insert a catheter. Fortunately they insert after you're asleep, but it comes out two days later, while you're wide awake. Now isn't that something to look forward to!
Tuesday 8 January 2008
A little speculation
Tomorrow,s going to be one of those red letter days in this saga. I have to go for my pre-assesment for surgery. That being the case, I'm going to indulge myself in a little speculation as to how things will go. I'm assuming that I'm fit enough to have the operation, if not I'd better start getting measured for a shroud. The various tests are scheduled to take somewhere about 2 hours, so we'll set off in good time to get to Castle Hill Hospital. My appointment is for 12:45, so we'll be away by about 11:00.
If I pass all the tests, and I really aren't sure what they entail, I have been told at sometime the op should be about a fortnight later. I would make that either on Monday the 21st or the 28th of January. I have a feeling that the intakes will be on a Monday, though, of course I could be completely wrong.
If I'm right about either date it means that I should be through the worst of the immediate aftermath by our anniversary (the 20th of Feb, darling, just in case you thought I might forget) I hope so, but of course it all depends on tomorrows outcome.
Of course, I'm probably completely wrong, but I hope to have some idea of a date for the op soon now.
If I pass all the tests, and I really aren't sure what they entail, I have been told at sometime the op should be about a fortnight later. I would make that either on Monday the 21st or the 28th of January. I have a feeling that the intakes will be on a Monday, though, of course I could be completely wrong.
If I'm right about either date it means that I should be through the worst of the immediate aftermath by our anniversary (the 20th of Feb, darling, just in case you thought I might forget) I hope so, but of course it all depends on tomorrows outcome.
Of course, I'm probably completely wrong, but I hope to have some idea of a date for the op soon now.
Friday 4 January 2008
Blood
I came upon an interesting fact today while browsing throught www.heart2hearts.co.uk. It sems that the average by pass patient requires between 2 and 4 units of blood during the op. To be honest I wasn't sure how much a unit is, but it turns out that it is 454ml or nearly a pint.
My wife is a blood doner, and has been for a number of years but I can't donate having the health I do. It just struck me that there must be thousands of people like her who go to the blood centres and give blood for people like me to receive.
If you're one of them - thank you!
My wife is a blood doner, and has been for a number of years but I can't donate having the health I do. It just struck me that there must be thousands of people like her who go to the blood centres and give blood for people like me to receive.
If you're one of them - thank you!
Thursday 3 January 2008
Families - mine in particular
It's often said that you can choose your friends, but not your families. It's true of course, but if I had the power of choice I'd choose my family every time. It's easy to become over sentimental in this sort of post, but my family are - well, just the best.
My wife and I were talking the other night about how we're going to go on immediately after the operation. She is in the process of making arrangements to work from home. Now I didn't know this, somehow it never occured to me to think about afterwards. It then transpired that my daughter has also made arrangements to have time off - using some of her valuable holidays that she may well need later in the year (she marries in late August) Not only that, but my son has been working on changing shifts and finishing early so the he can be around too. One way or another it seems that I'm not going to be left on my own for quite some time.
The thing that sort of fills me up, is that all these arangements are being made without any of them telling me about it. I don't even know if they've told each other!
My wife and I were talking the other night about how we're going to go on immediately after the operation. She is in the process of making arrangements to work from home. Now I didn't know this, somehow it never occured to me to think about afterwards. It then transpired that my daughter has also made arrangements to have time off - using some of her valuable holidays that she may well need later in the year (she marries in late August) Not only that, but my son has been working on changing shifts and finishing early so the he can be around too. One way or another it seems that I'm not going to be left on my own for quite some time.
The thing that sort of fills me up, is that all these arangements are being made without any of them telling me about it. I don't even know if they've told each other!
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