just thinking...

One of the things that enforced idleness does is give you time to think, and I've been doing a lot of that. Normally the world whizzes past as I drive from one place to another, but being unable to drive has somehow opened my eyes.


This is a really lovely time of year, the buds are coming out, leaves are just turning green and the world is awakening from it's winter hibernation. During yesterdays walk we stopped countless times just to admire natures handiwork. Just taking the time to look at how the leaves are tightly enfurled in the bud, and a little further along the branch another bud has burst is just incredible.


Another thing is that time is less important (actually it's completely unimportant really) and having time is a special gift. It opens you mind to memories and thoughts that you don't have time for normally.


I have so much to be thankful for. Far more than I can put down here, but I'm one of that blessed generation of "Baby boomers" born just after the war. I was born too late to serve in Malaya, Cyprus and Suez, and too early to have to face the Iraq chaos. Just being the age I am is pretty amazing. Then I have my wonderful family. I'm saying nothing about them, because I've said plenty already. All in all, I have very few regrets.


The one major regret is this: I wish with all my heart that I'd never started smoking. I know there is nothing worse than a reformed smoker, but it's just so true. I don't know if all my health problems have been caused by smoking, but I do know that if I hadn't smoked then I'd be a lot better of than I am now - in every way. I sat down the other day and worked out how much I was spending on fags per week, before I stopped. I'd done it before, after all it was one of the reasons I did stop, but it's a mind blowing figure just the same.

I kidded myself that I was only smoking twenty a day, but in reality I bet it was nearer forty. Even if we take the lower figure, twenty Benson and Hedges now cost more than £5.50. Now multiply that by 7 days gives you £38.50 - a week! bearing in mind I've been smoking for more than 40 years I must have spent thousands on suicide on the easy payment plan. My smoke money has paid for several holidays since I stopped in 2003. I know what I'd rather spend my money on!