Its Monday, so it must be gym day...

...except today, it wasn't. Each time we visit the gym we're asked if we have had any new symptoms since our last visit. Of course I had to explain about the faint and so on. Every bodies (except mine) faces got longer as I explained about running for the bus and being pretty daft really. First there was a long delay in letting me start the warm up until the nurse in charge got my notes, then the notes were not available so she decided not to take any chances and checked my Blood Pressure.

I'm pretty sure she knew what to expect and what is happening seems to be this; Just at the moment I seem to have a fairly low BP if I stand up suddenly. The nurse (Jessica) tested it by having me sit, feet elevated on a sort of divan thing for about 15 / 20 minutes. She then took my BP, left the cuff in place and asked me to stand up quickly. I did, and my BP seemed like it dropped quite impressively. Maybe this is the reason for Fridays episode, I don't know. Certainly it could account for my feeling faint after working in the garden with Marg on Saturday.

Anyway, todays gym was a bit of a washout. I didn't do my cicuits, and eventually left early as I was a bit cheesed off and felt like I was the centre of everyones attention.

So, it's back to work on Thursday. I had a word with our boss man tonight and he thinks his boss may want me to work inside for a little while. I'm not to sure about that, I've always just driven the van, but I only work there, so I'll do what they ask within reason. Actually my employers have been brilliant throughout this protracted sick leave. They've paid me right through, which I didn't expect them to, but I can't tell you how grateful I am that they have. Its made a tremendous difference to me, not having to worry about money - after all 3 months without pay is a long time. So thank you Motor Parts, I won't forget how I've been treated.

Of buses, blue lights and hard pavements...

...Oh and lovely nurses!

I went to the docs today to get my return to work cert. Because of another sleepless night Marg left before me, so I went on the bus. I walked round to Tescos to get some new batteries for the smoke alarm we have then got on the bus. I walked down Lord Mayors Walk to the docs and got my cert, then walked back to catch the bus home again. This is where it all went a bit pear shaped.

As I rounded the corner, i saw my bus stuck in traffic about 30 yards short of the stop. I was only the same distance away so I made a run for it (I know, I know - sorry) That's about the last thing I remember. I had a terrific dizzy spell and thought "That was a pretty stupid", which was my last conscious thought. I woke up lying flat on my back on a very hard pavement with two girls holding my hands and telling me not to move. One got my wallet which had fallen from my pocket, the other my phone. An ambulance was already on its way as one of them had called it.

One of the girls asked me if I wanted anyone to be informed, and of course I asked for Marg (as an aside her number is under "ICE"- In Case Of Emergency on my phone and proved it's worth today, because I could no more remember her number than fly, but I remembered it was under ICE - please make sure you and all your family do this, it saved so much time today) So the ambulance turned up all flashing lights and sirens - very dramatic - and the guy checked me over. I'd cut the back of my head in the fall, but otherwise I'm ok, but that didn't stop them carting me off to hospital blue lighs flashing and horns blowing, through red lights and the rest - oh no!

There I was treated for the cut, my heart was checked (it's fine - or as fine as it's ever going to be), and they sealed the cut with superglue. Actually the only stuff I have found that superglue does work on is my flesh, so I have every confidence in it holding.

So that's it really. If ever I'm stupid enough to run for a bus again, I can expect a kick in the teeth from Marg and the kids! And guess what? I missed the bloody bus after all that!

People really ARE wonderful though, the two girls I've never met or will meet again the ambulance guy - everyone at the hospital all did their bit to help me through what was a pretty frightening experience. It does restore ones faith in human nature.

Its Thursday, so it must be gym...

...and so it was. Today's "heart parade" included Heart of Glass, by Blondie, Heart of Stone by Cher (she's great) and the killer of the day - "Open Your Heart to Me by Madonna. Now I'm tuned into this music as we exercise, I hear so much more and each time I gain more admiration for whoever chose the songs - in much the same way as I admire the guy who chose "C'mon Baby Light my Fire" for his cremation!

The talk today was by one of the members of the York Coronary Support Group, which found quite interesting. The group has been going for roughly 20 years. It was founded by Dr Roger Boyle, the man who told me there was little to do all those years ago. He's now a big wheel in the government, I'm not sure of his official title, but he's known as the "Heart Czar". As I remember him, he's a nice guy and extremely clever. It just shows the progress that has been made over the 20 years or so of my problems.

The group have many sort of activities, ranging from working out (More working out after this course has finished) swimming, walking (they carry a defibrillator, just in case) and of course quiz nights and so on. I'm not really a "joiner" but I might well just go and have a look sometime at one of the meetings.

A special day!

Today has been pretty special really. Having been discharged from Castle Hill I rang my own GP to make arrangments for my return to work. He actually seems pretty reluctant to certify that I'm fit, but under a little persuasuion finally agreed. I was hoping to start back next Monday, but he was having none of that. The best I could get away with was re-starting on Thursday, so that I'd only have two days to do before the weekend came round again. It's a compromise that I'm happy with, after all he only has my interest at heart and what's three more days after the length of time I've been off?

Today is also my birthday. Marg has booked the day off so we can spend it together and asked what I wanted for my present. I honestly couldn't think of anything, but elsewhere in this blog I said that I'd like to walk around the Marine Drive in Scarborough like I used to be able to - well, we DID it! It was brilliant, just as I remember, the wind was cold and strong in our faces, the sea smashing over the rocks below us and the cry of the seagulls on the cliffs high above us has to be heard. Admittedly we didn't walk all the way round, after all, that's a pretty good walk - and we had to walk back to the car too, but we walked more than two thirds of the way I would think. And the best bit? Well far and away the best bit was not having ANY Angina pain - none at all - not a jot! It's probably the best present I've ever had. Just the freedom to do this sort of thing after half a lifetime of not being able to defies my use of words. Suffice it to say today has been a memorable day - AND I drove there and back, some 80 /90 miles all told and I'm ok after that too.

So life is getting back to normal. Soon I'll be moaning on about workload and traffic and how I have to go to work and so on, but I don't care. I'm so looking forward to taking part in society again rather than just looking in at it from the outside, because that's how I feel just now. I suppose I've had a foretaste of retirement, and while Marg was with me at home off sick too, it was pretty nice - even though we both felt pretty dire, but she's back at work now and being alone, the days are pretty long.

And finally, my son left the cartoon at the top of the page for us on the kitchen worktop. We both laughed like drains when we saw it - and it seems quite fitting for the day. Thanks Dave!

Discharged!

Well the long wait seems to be coming to an end. Today I was officially discharged from Castle Hill. I saw Mr Chaudrhi (I just noticed today that I have been mis-spelling his name all through this blog) and he seems pretty pleased with me. I mentioned the blog to him and he said he'd have a look, and maybe take it forward to new patients. I really hope he does, and that someone finds my experiences helpful in coming to terms with their own problems.

Now I really do feel like I'm on the last lap. I only need a certificate to return to work from my GP and I'll be back at it. I'm really hoping to be back to work on Monday, though, of course, I'll be guided by what the doc says. I'm not going to do anything stupid, after all so many people have put so much effort into getting me to this stage that I would be letting them down if I jumped the gun, so I'll wait and see.

More of the gym etc.

Really todays post could be compressed into three words: Gym, hard, whacked!, but I suppose I'd better elaborate.

I'm nearing the half way stage of the gym sessions now, and the work load is increasing. Some of the exercises I find quite easy, but others tire me out. It's really quite strange because in virtually every job I've ever had I've had to hump and carry moderate to heavy stuff around, but this is what I find most tiring just now. I don't think it's actually carrying the weights, it's the positions that you have to place them. One exercise is to have a hand weight of 1.5 kg in each hand and hold them above the head, then at arms length in front of you and then to the side, again at arms length, which is immediately followed by holding a medicine ball of 2kg at arms length at 45 degrees above the head while doing knees bend stuff.

I know the weights don't sound much, and I would have laughed at doing such things before, but I was absolutely knackered when I finished today. Sweat was pouring off me and I had to have a quick wash before the talk.

While I'm on the subject of the gym, I have to say there is a certain black humour (which I really admire) in the choice of music to do the exercises to. Every tune has the word "heart" in it somewhere. Some todays more memorable ones were "Anyone Who had a Heart", "Heartbreaker", A Good Heart is Hard to Find" and "This old Heart of Mine". Apparently the music selection has been put together by a passed patient. I kinda like his - or her - style!

A busy day at the Hopital

Another Monday, so a gym day. Actually I found myself double booked with the gym and the diabetic clinic. Fortunately they are both in the hospital so I managed to see both, though the gym session had to be shortened a little. It still seems to be a bit of a problem getting my heart beat down after exercise. Getting it up there is no problem, today it got up to 130 BPM just during the warm up, but they want it back to the start level before you leave and mine refuses to get there. I don't feel bad, breathless or anything like that, I don't have "palpitations" it just doesn't seem keen to slow down. I have no idea why this is.

Anyway having cut short the gym work, I went up to the diabetic clinic, which ironically was running 30 minutes late - just the time I quit the gym by. Today was the dreaded retinal screening. For anyone who hasn't had it it fairly unpleasant. Don't get me wrong - it's not excruciating, but the drops they put in your eyes to dilate the pupils sting a bit. Actually, quite a lot! But they did it and I waited them to work. It normally takes about 20 minutes and during this time I went to see the doctor.

I have to say, she was delighted with me! My blood sugar level was "fantastic" and I'd lost "a great deal of weight" (five days in intensive care with kidney failure and no food tends to make you lose weight) and all in all I just had to "keep up the good work". I was pretty pleased with myself as I have really tried to go by the book on the Diabetes thing - it's just that I keep losing the book.

So then it was to get my eyes photographed. I have to say there must be something slightly sadistic about the medical profession. I admire them and I have so much to be grateful for, but they drop something that feels like acid into your eyes to make the pupils dilate, then to pop off a flashbulb right into them seems a bit extreme. I staggered out of the room only able to see a big blue circle and nothing else!

Then the final stop of the day - bloodtaking. This has become a routine now and the ladies who do it seem to be just brilliant at it. I honestly never felt the needle at all. I'm just hoping the the cholesterol level is something like and - who knows I may be back to work soon

Onward and upward...

Well after the scare the other day it was back to normal yesterday. I'd had to miss my previous session at the gym, but went back to yesterdays. My favourite little twelve year old has gone (I think she's doing some more exams) and the lady in charge yesterday looked a good bit older - maybe in her 20s!

Whatever, she certainly put us through our paces, although she was particularly careful to make sure I didn't over exert myself. I actual fact, I quite enjoy these sessions. As you see the same faces each time it becomes almost a social experience, and one or two laughs ensue.

Having done the session Marg picked me up and we went home. It was only later that the muscle aches hit! My legs ached pretty well, but my chest muscle (presumably the one that has to be cut through) really did hurt. Turning over in bed proved to be a rather exciting experience - sort of moving in easy stages and waiting for the pain to die down before moving on again. That's not too bad, as long as you're awake, but if you're asleep, you don't do that, and it proves to be something that brings out the motor trade language in me. I have a feeling Marg was maybe a little shocked...

I'm starting to feel more like I'm ready to go back to work now, though. In fact I'd rather like to give it a go. I know some of the lifting will be right out the window for the moment - and maybe for quite a while yet, but I miss the banter and the general atmosphere of work, and it give you back a pattern to your life, which I'm missing at the moment.

I have an appointment with Mr Choudrhi on the 15th of this month during which I'd like to find out if the breathless episode is anything to worry about, but after that, I'm hoping for a return to work chitty and back at it.

A Scare.

I've deliberately not posted this until today as I wanted to get my facts right, which is ironic, bearing in mind the date, but I had a hell of a fright last Saturday. One of Margs colleagues is retiring shortly and she wanted to get him something "personal" as they have worked closely for the past several years. Knowing his interests we went into town to find a book for him. We went on the bus, so we weren't constantly looking at the clock for parking. It was a day that bright, clear, but pretty chilly, and we got off the bus in town for the short walk to the bookshop.

I couldn't make it. There is a slight rise from the bus stop, in fact more of an incline that a rise, but it stopped me dead inside 30 yards, puffing and panting like in the old days. My heart sank as I wondered what the hell had gone wrong. I recovered after a little while, but it upset the rest of the day. Together we walked slowly around town, got the gift then got the bus home. I stayed in for the rest of the day worrying about what had happened. I rang the doc and spoke to her on Monday. She asked me to go in straight away, but I couldn't get to the surgery as I had no transport. She said to come in today, but it the meantime if there was any recurrence then to phone immediately and they would come out to me, and not to go to the gym this afternoon.

I simply stayed in. Messed about around the house and got tea ready for Marg. Over tea I snapped at her, which is something I never do, but I was so worried that I just went a bit overboard over something. I know she was a taken aback by this as it's just not like me at all.

Well today I went to the docs, having first walked up the street and a bit further without mishap. Marg picked me up and I went to see the doc after dropping her at work. I explained to him all that had happened and how I was scared something had broken. He examined me minutely, checked pulse and BP, sounded my chest and asked lots of questions - and at the end of it said he couldn't find anything wrong at all. What a relief!

He seems to think it's a combination of many things, not least not sleeping well. I've taken to sleeping - or rather laying tossing and turning- in the spare room, and I hate it. I'm pretty sure Marg does too, but it's unfair to keep her awake because I can't sleep. It doesn't take much to make you lose the confidence you gain so painstakingly over the past two months, but at least it doesn't seem to be anything serious - much to my and every other family members relief.

I still have to keep my appointment with Mr Choudri in a few days time and I'll tell him all about it too, but at least I feel better in myself.