I’ve mentioned in quite a few posts that my daughter was getting married soon. Well she did it. We had THE most wonderful day yesterday. I made a couple of short speeches and generally the whole day went incredibly well.
Since I’ve been back at work I seem to have gone from strength to strength. I’m back as good as I ever was now. I can lift and carry pretty much the same as always (when they let me – those colleagues of mine are still just as wonderful – just don’t tell ‘em if you know any of them!) Yesterday was one of those landmark days, the days that mark your life out. My daughter got wed! I loved the whole day, but the bit that is probably most relevant to the blog is the reception after the ceremony.
I could dance!
In fact, I could dance my lovely wife to a standstill! I had no pain whatsoever, none. I got breathless of course, but so did some of the kids there who were less than half my age.
I’ve just got a notification, from a girl called Gill that her dad is worried about the op. He’s been treated by Mr Choudri too. All I can say is look at me. Last Christmas I could barely manage a dance with my wife, one dance! I was worried about being able to walk my daughter down the aisle, and Angina was a daily occurrence. Yesterday I walked her down the aisle and gave her away to a wonderful young man. I hit the high spots to many of the old songs of the 70s, including my all time favourite, Love Train, which makes this old chap go crazy and his wife completely change her tune. Instead of asking me to dance she’s usually saying something like “Sit down you old fool, you’re making an exhibition of yourself”. Well, I did – and I could have done a lot more if Marg would have kept up! I’m so pleased with myself that I might even post a couple of pictures …
Sunday, 31 August 2008
Thursday, 1 May 2008
The Last Post...
Well, I've tried my best to take all the readers of this blog with me on my journey, but now, I think I've reached the end. Yesterday was my first day back at work, and I dropped back into it like I'd never been gone. It was really great to be back "amongst it" all again, the shouting, the swearing, the laughs and all the other things that make up a typical day in the motor trade. Today I had to make one final visit to the hospital to see Dr Durham about my faint last week, but he seems fairly confident that it was a pretty well a one off. My blood pressure problem (which I still can't remember the name of) seems to be the likely culprit, and as long as I remember that and don't break into a run again, or do anything quite as stupid, I should be alright. Its funny, running to catch a bus is just human nature somehow - especially when you know you can get to the stop before the bus does. Maybe I should know better. I'm an ex bus driver and used to chuckle as I left "runners" - maybe the great god of bus passengers is laughing at me now!
So, I'm back at work, I don't have another appointment with Dr Durham for another year - and that is only a final check before being discharged - so that's pretty well the end of my story. It's funny, but I'm going to miss writing the odd bit for it, after all it's been a pretty important thing for me for the past nine months. That's a thought isn't it? Nine months is the gestation period for new life, and I've certainly gained that. When I think back to the old days, the gasping for breath, the pain, and not being able to even give Marg a dance without having to stop half way through the music - well it's certainly a new life now.
Now, I'm actually looking forward to the next dinner dance and so on. Next month we're getting away for a long weekend, and I can pretty well guarantee the I'll be doing my best to sweep Marg off her feet again - well, ok, I'll buy her a gin - make it a double - and get her up on the dance floor for a bop. That'll be a landmark for both of us.
To everyone who has written, posted and read this little journal, thank you. Those who have contacted me have made me feel it's been worthwhile. If Graham reads this, I hope you're recovering at high speed buddy - drop me a line, I still owe you a pint.
Suffice it to say that this has been a record of my personal journey. No doubt yours will be different, but I hope it gives those following some idea of what to expect. I’m an ordinary chap, I drive a van for a living, and when all this started I searched all over the web to try to find someone like me who had been through this, and could just talk about it in layman's terms. I couldn't find anything or anyone, and perhaps that’s why this blog has become something of a personal mission to me, something I feel for and care about.In every entry I have tried to explain how I feel at the time. There are typos and spelling mistakes throughout it, but I’m leaving them alone. I also think I could express myself better than I have on occasions, but again, I’m not going to edit any of the posts. The whole idea of the blog is to explore how I felt at the particular moment I posted the entry. To go back now and edit sections would somehow defeat the object. Its not a story, it’s not been edited in any way, everything I have posted came straight from the heart (no pun intended), so perhaps it’s time to say some words of thanks, and maybe do some summing up.
First the Thanks:Gosh this is hard. When I think about it I owe so many people my gratitude, from my doctor(s) and nurses, to the surgeon Mr Choudrhi – what a man he is! My friends and colleagues who have put up with my ups and downs, and helped me along the way. Thanks mates, you’re a pleasure to work with. People who have posted to the blog, some I have never met, and never will, but who have shown interest – thank you. Linda in Birmingham, Chris and Maggie, Jude and Ron, all of you make such a difference to me, and I thank you. My family, I’m lost for words with them. All I can say is how much they all mean to me. My brothers and sisters-in-law, Ian and Lynda, Pete and Jan, the greater family, nieces, nephews have all played a part in helping me through this. My own immediate family, Cheryl and David, along with Phil, my soon to be son-in-law have given me so much to care about, and finally my own dear Marg – well maybe that’s best said privately, but 37 years ago I made such a good decision!
So to sum up:Is it worth it? Is it worth the worry, the stress, the fear and a little pain? Oh man, is it! If it were all to end tomorrow, it would still have been worth it. The feeling of getting over that little mound on my first walk, the mound that had become my personal Everest, made it worthwhile, being able to enjoy cold late winter air, being able to walk at a reasonable pace, not to have to stop to breathe – there are so many, many ways in which it is so worth it. I’m now looking forward to Spring and Summer walks, regaining at least some of the strength I had years ago. I’ve been so fed up at feeling like a little old man, now I’m going to go for everything.So that’s pretty well it. I truly hope this helps someone who is going through the same experiences, if it does then I’ll be happy to hear from anyone.
As a final thought, Dr Durham gave me some advice today which I'm taking to heart (how often that organ comes into everyday speech) he just said to me "Go out and live your life."
I'm going to do just that!
So, I'm back at work, I don't have another appointment with Dr Durham for another year - and that is only a final check before being discharged - so that's pretty well the end of my story. It's funny, but I'm going to miss writing the odd bit for it, after all it's been a pretty important thing for me for the past nine months. That's a thought isn't it? Nine months is the gestation period for new life, and I've certainly gained that. When I think back to the old days, the gasping for breath, the pain, and not being able to even give Marg a dance without having to stop half way through the music - well it's certainly a new life now.
Now, I'm actually looking forward to the next dinner dance and so on. Next month we're getting away for a long weekend, and I can pretty well guarantee the I'll be doing my best to sweep Marg off her feet again - well, ok, I'll buy her a gin - make it a double - and get her up on the dance floor for a bop. That'll be a landmark for both of us.
To everyone who has written, posted and read this little journal, thank you. Those who have contacted me have made me feel it's been worthwhile. If Graham reads this, I hope you're recovering at high speed buddy - drop me a line, I still owe you a pint.
Suffice it to say that this has been a record of my personal journey. No doubt yours will be different, but I hope it gives those following some idea of what to expect. I’m an ordinary chap, I drive a van for a living, and when all this started I searched all over the web to try to find someone like me who had been through this, and could just talk about it in layman's terms. I couldn't find anything or anyone, and perhaps that’s why this blog has become something of a personal mission to me, something I feel for and care about.In every entry I have tried to explain how I feel at the time. There are typos and spelling mistakes throughout it, but I’m leaving them alone. I also think I could express myself better than I have on occasions, but again, I’m not going to edit any of the posts. The whole idea of the blog is to explore how I felt at the particular moment I posted the entry. To go back now and edit sections would somehow defeat the object. Its not a story, it’s not been edited in any way, everything I have posted came straight from the heart (no pun intended), so perhaps it’s time to say some words of thanks, and maybe do some summing up.
First the Thanks:Gosh this is hard. When I think about it I owe so many people my gratitude, from my doctor(s) and nurses, to the surgeon Mr Choudrhi – what a man he is! My friends and colleagues who have put up with my ups and downs, and helped me along the way. Thanks mates, you’re a pleasure to work with. People who have posted to the blog, some I have never met, and never will, but who have shown interest – thank you. Linda in Birmingham, Chris and Maggie, Jude and Ron, all of you make such a difference to me, and I thank you. My family, I’m lost for words with them. All I can say is how much they all mean to me. My brothers and sisters-in-law, Ian and Lynda, Pete and Jan, the greater family, nieces, nephews have all played a part in helping me through this. My own immediate family, Cheryl and David, along with Phil, my soon to be son-in-law have given me so much to care about, and finally my own dear Marg – well maybe that’s best said privately, but 37 years ago I made such a good decision!
So to sum up:Is it worth it? Is it worth the worry, the stress, the fear and a little pain? Oh man, is it! If it were all to end tomorrow, it would still have been worth it. The feeling of getting over that little mound on my first walk, the mound that had become my personal Everest, made it worthwhile, being able to enjoy cold late winter air, being able to walk at a reasonable pace, not to have to stop to breathe – there are so many, many ways in which it is so worth it. I’m now looking forward to Spring and Summer walks, regaining at least some of the strength I had years ago. I’ve been so fed up at feeling like a little old man, now I’m going to go for everything.So that’s pretty well it. I truly hope this helps someone who is going through the same experiences, if it does then I’ll be happy to hear from anyone.
As a final thought, Dr Durham gave me some advice today which I'm taking to heart (how often that organ comes into everyday speech) he just said to me "Go out and live your life."
I'm going to do just that!
Monday, 28 April 2008
Its Monday, so it must be gym day...
...except today, it wasn't. Each time we visit the gym we're asked if we have had any new symptoms since our last visit. Of course I had to explain about the faint and so on. Every bodies (except mine) faces got longer as I explained about running for the bus and being pretty daft really. First there was a long delay in letting me start the warm up until the nurse in charge got my notes, then the notes were not available so she decided not to take any chances and checked my Blood Pressure.
I'm pretty sure she knew what to expect and what is happening seems to be this; Just at the moment I seem to have a fairly low BP if I stand up suddenly. The nurse (Jessica) tested it by having me sit, feet elevated on a sort of divan thing for about 15 / 20 minutes. She then took my BP, left the cuff in place and asked me to stand up quickly. I did, and my BP seemed like it dropped quite impressively. Maybe this is the reason for Fridays episode, I don't know. Certainly it could account for my feeling faint after working in the garden with Marg on Saturday.
Anyway, todays gym was a bit of a washout. I didn't do my cicuits, and eventually left early as I was a bit cheesed off and felt like I was the centre of everyones attention.
So, it's back to work on Thursday. I had a word with our boss man tonight and he thinks his boss may want me to work inside for a little while. I'm not to sure about that, I've always just driven the van, but I only work there, so I'll do what they ask within reason. Actually my employers have been brilliant throughout this protracted sick leave. They've paid me right through, which I didn't expect them to, but I can't tell you how grateful I am that they have. Its made a tremendous difference to me, not having to worry about money - after all 3 months without pay is a long time. So thank you Motor Parts, I won't forget how I've been treated.
I'm pretty sure she knew what to expect and what is happening seems to be this; Just at the moment I seem to have a fairly low BP if I stand up suddenly. The nurse (Jessica) tested it by having me sit, feet elevated on a sort of divan thing for about 15 / 20 minutes. She then took my BP, left the cuff in place and asked me to stand up quickly. I did, and my BP seemed like it dropped quite impressively. Maybe this is the reason for Fridays episode, I don't know. Certainly it could account for my feeling faint after working in the garden with Marg on Saturday.
Anyway, todays gym was a bit of a washout. I didn't do my cicuits, and eventually left early as I was a bit cheesed off and felt like I was the centre of everyones attention.
So, it's back to work on Thursday. I had a word with our boss man tonight and he thinks his boss may want me to work inside for a little while. I'm not to sure about that, I've always just driven the van, but I only work there, so I'll do what they ask within reason. Actually my employers have been brilliant throughout this protracted sick leave. They've paid me right through, which I didn't expect them to, but I can't tell you how grateful I am that they have. Its made a tremendous difference to me, not having to worry about money - after all 3 months without pay is a long time. So thank you Motor Parts, I won't forget how I've been treated.
Friday, 25 April 2008
Of buses, blue lights and hard pavements...
...Oh and lovely nurses!
I went to the docs today to get my return to work cert. Because of another sleepless night Marg left before me, so I went on the bus. I walked round to Tescos to get some new batteries for the smoke alarm we have then got on the bus. I walked down Lord Mayors Walk to the docs and got my cert, then walked back to catch the bus home again. This is where it all went a bit pear shaped.
As I rounded the corner, i saw my bus stuck in traffic about 30 yards short of the stop. I was only the same distance away so I made a run for it (I know, I know - sorry) That's about the last thing I remember. I had a terrific dizzy spell and thought "That was a pretty stupid", which was my last conscious thought. I woke up lying flat on my back on a very hard pavement with two girls holding my hands and telling me not to move. One got my wallet which had fallen from my pocket, the other my phone. An ambulance was already on its way as one of them had called it.
One of the girls asked me if I wanted anyone to be informed, and of course I asked for Marg (as an aside her number is under "ICE"- In Case Of Emergency on my phone and proved it's worth today, because I could no more remember her number than fly, but I remembered it was under ICE - please make sure you and all your family do this, it saved so much time today) So the ambulance turned up all flashing lights and sirens - very dramatic - and the guy checked me over. I'd cut the back of my head in the fall, but otherwise I'm ok, but that didn't stop them carting me off to hospital blue lighs flashing and horns blowing, through red lights and the rest - oh no!
There I was treated for the cut, my heart was checked (it's fine - or as fine as it's ever going to be), and they sealed the cut with superglue. Actually the only stuff I have found that superglue does work on is my flesh, so I have every confidence in it holding.
So that's it really. If ever I'm stupid enough to run for a bus again, I can expect a kick in the teeth from Marg and the kids! And guess what? I missed the bloody bus after all that!
People really ARE wonderful though, the two girls I've never met or will meet again the ambulance guy - everyone at the hospital all did their bit to help me through what was a pretty frightening experience. It does restore ones faith in human nature.
I went to the docs today to get my return to work cert. Because of another sleepless night Marg left before me, so I went on the bus. I walked round to Tescos to get some new batteries for the smoke alarm we have then got on the bus. I walked down Lord Mayors Walk to the docs and got my cert, then walked back to catch the bus home again. This is where it all went a bit pear shaped.
As I rounded the corner, i saw my bus stuck in traffic about 30 yards short of the stop. I was only the same distance away so I made a run for it (I know, I know - sorry) That's about the last thing I remember. I had a terrific dizzy spell and thought "That was a pretty stupid", which was my last conscious thought. I woke up lying flat on my back on a very hard pavement with two girls holding my hands and telling me not to move. One got my wallet which had fallen from my pocket, the other my phone. An ambulance was already on its way as one of them had called it.
One of the girls asked me if I wanted anyone to be informed, and of course I asked for Marg (as an aside her number is under "ICE"- In Case Of Emergency on my phone and proved it's worth today, because I could no more remember her number than fly, but I remembered it was under ICE - please make sure you and all your family do this, it saved so much time today) So the ambulance turned up all flashing lights and sirens - very dramatic - and the guy checked me over. I'd cut the back of my head in the fall, but otherwise I'm ok, but that didn't stop them carting me off to hospital blue lighs flashing and horns blowing, through red lights and the rest - oh no!
There I was treated for the cut, my heart was checked (it's fine - or as fine as it's ever going to be), and they sealed the cut with superglue. Actually the only stuff I have found that superglue does work on is my flesh, so I have every confidence in it holding.
So that's it really. If ever I'm stupid enough to run for a bus again, I can expect a kick in the teeth from Marg and the kids! And guess what? I missed the bloody bus after all that!
People really ARE wonderful though, the two girls I've never met or will meet again the ambulance guy - everyone at the hospital all did their bit to help me through what was a pretty frightening experience. It does restore ones faith in human nature.
Its Thursday, so it must be gym...
...and so it was. Today's "heart parade" included Heart of Glass, by Blondie, Heart of Stone by Cher (she's great) and the killer of the day - "Open Your Heart to Me by Madonna. Now I'm tuned into this music as we exercise, I hear so much more and each time I gain more admiration for whoever chose the songs - in much the same way as I admire the guy who chose "C'mon Baby Light my Fire" for his cremation!
The talk today was by one of the members of the York Coronary Support Group, which found quite interesting. The group has been going for roughly 20 years. It was founded by Dr Roger Boyle, the man who told me there was little to do all those years ago. He's now a big wheel in the government, I'm not sure of his official title, but he's known as the "Heart Czar". As I remember him, he's a nice guy and extremely clever. It just shows the progress that has been made over the 20 years or so of my problems.
The group have many sort of activities, ranging from working out (More working out after this course has finished) swimming, walking (they carry a defibrillator, just in case) and of course quiz nights and so on. I'm not really a "joiner" but I might well just go and have a look sometime at one of the meetings.
The talk today was by one of the members of the York Coronary Support Group, which found quite interesting. The group has been going for roughly 20 years. It was founded by Dr Roger Boyle, the man who told me there was little to do all those years ago. He's now a big wheel in the government, I'm not sure of his official title, but he's known as the "Heart Czar". As I remember him, he's a nice guy and extremely clever. It just shows the progress that has been made over the 20 years or so of my problems.
The group have many sort of activities, ranging from working out (More working out after this course has finished) swimming, walking (they carry a defibrillator, just in case) and of course quiz nights and so on. I'm not really a "joiner" but I might well just go and have a look sometime at one of the meetings.
Wednesday, 16 April 2008
A special day!
Today has been pretty special really. Having been discharged from Castle Hill I rang my own GP to make arrangments for my return to work. He actually seems pretty reluctant to certify that I'm fit, but under a little persuasuion finally agreed. I was hoping to start back next Monday, but he was having none of that. The best I could get away with was re-starting on Thursday, so that I'd only have two days to do before the weekend came round again. It's a compromise that I'm happy with, after all he only has my interest at heart and what's three more days after the length of time I've been off?
Today is also my birthday. Marg has booked the day off so we can spend it together and asked what I wanted for my present. I honestly couldn't think of anything, but elsewhere in this blog I said that I'd like to walk around the Marine Drive in Scarborough like I used to be able to - well, we DID it! It was brilliant, just as I remember, the wind was cold and strong in our faces, the sea smashing over the rocks below us and the cry of the seagulls on the cliffs high above us has to be heard. Admittedly we didn't walk all the way round, after all, that's a pretty good walk - and we had to walk back to the car too, but we walked more than two thirds of the way I would think. And the best bit? Well far and away the best bit was not having ANY Angina pain - none at all - not a jot! It's probably the best present I've ever had. Just the freedom to do this sort of thing after half a lifetime of not being able to defies my use of words. Suffice it to say today has been a memorable day - AND I drove there and back, some 80 /90 miles all told and I'm ok after that too.
So life is getting back to normal. Soon I'll be moaning on about workload and traffic and how I have to go to work and so on, but I don't care. I'm so looking forward to taking part in society again rather than just looking in at it from the outside, because that's how I feel just now. I suppose I've had a foretaste of retirement, and while Marg was with me at home off sick too, it was pretty nice - even though we both felt pretty dire, but she's back at work now and being alone, the days are pretty long.
Today is also my birthday. Marg has booked the day off so we can spend it together and asked what I wanted for my present. I honestly couldn't think of anything, but elsewhere in this blog I said that I'd like to walk around the Marine Drive in Scarborough like I used to be able to - well, we DID it! It was brilliant, just as I remember, the wind was cold and strong in our faces, the sea smashing over the rocks below us and the cry of the seagulls on the cliffs high above us has to be heard. Admittedly we didn't walk all the way round, after all, that's a pretty good walk - and we had to walk back to the car too, but we walked more than two thirds of the way I would think. And the best bit? Well far and away the best bit was not having ANY Angina pain - none at all - not a jot! It's probably the best present I've ever had. Just the freedom to do this sort of thing after half a lifetime of not being able to defies my use of words. Suffice it to say today has been a memorable day - AND I drove there and back, some 80 /90 miles all told and I'm ok after that too.
So life is getting back to normal. Soon I'll be moaning on about workload and traffic and how I have to go to work and so on, but I don't care. I'm so looking forward to taking part in society again rather than just looking in at it from the outside, because that's how I feel just now. I suppose I've had a foretaste of retirement, and while Marg was with me at home off sick too, it was pretty nice - even though we both felt pretty dire, but she's back at work now and being alone, the days are pretty long.
And finally, my son left the cartoon at the top of the page for us on the kitchen worktop. We both laughed like drains when we saw it - and it seems quite fitting for the day. Thanks Dave!
Tuesday, 15 April 2008
Discharged!
Well the long wait seems to be coming to an end. Today I was officially discharged from Castle Hill. I saw Mr Chaudrhi (I just noticed today that I have been mis-spelling his name all through this blog) and he seems pretty pleased with me. I mentioned the blog to him and he said he'd have a look, and maybe take it forward to new patients. I really hope he does, and that someone finds my experiences helpful in coming to terms with their own problems.
Now I really do feel like I'm on the last lap. I only need a certificate to return to work from my GP and I'll be back at it. I'm really hoping to be back to work on Monday, though, of course, I'll be guided by what the doc says. I'm not going to do anything stupid, after all so many people have put so much effort into getting me to this stage that I would be letting them down if I jumped the gun, so I'll wait and see.
Now I really do feel like I'm on the last lap. I only need a certificate to return to work from my GP and I'll be back at it. I'm really hoping to be back to work on Monday, though, of course, I'll be guided by what the doc says. I'm not going to do anything stupid, after all so many people have put so much effort into getting me to this stage that I would be letting them down if I jumped the gun, so I'll wait and see.
Friday, 11 April 2008
More of the gym etc.
Really todays post could be compressed into three words: Gym, hard, whacked!, but I suppose I'd better elaborate.
I'm nearing the half way stage of the gym sessions now, and the work load is increasing. Some of the exercises I find quite easy, but others tire me out. It's really quite strange because in virtually every job I've ever had I've had to hump and carry moderate to heavy stuff around, but this is what I find most tiring just now. I don't think it's actually carrying the weights, it's the positions that you have to place them. One exercise is to have a hand weight of 1.5 kg in each hand and hold them above the head, then at arms length in front of you and then to the side, again at arms length, which is immediately followed by holding a medicine ball of 2kg at arms length at 45 degrees above the head while doing knees bend stuff.
I know the weights don't sound much, and I would have laughed at doing such things before, but I was absolutely knackered when I finished today. Sweat was pouring off me and I had to have a quick wash before the talk.
While I'm on the subject of the gym, I have to say there is a certain black humour (which I really admire) in the choice of music to do the exercises to. Every tune has the word "heart" in it somewhere. Some todays more memorable ones were "Anyone Who had a Heart", "Heartbreaker", A Good Heart is Hard to Find" and "This old Heart of Mine". Apparently the music selection has been put together by a passed patient. I kinda like his - or her - style!
I'm nearing the half way stage of the gym sessions now, and the work load is increasing. Some of the exercises I find quite easy, but others tire me out. It's really quite strange because in virtually every job I've ever had I've had to hump and carry moderate to heavy stuff around, but this is what I find most tiring just now. I don't think it's actually carrying the weights, it's the positions that you have to place them. One exercise is to have a hand weight of 1.5 kg in each hand and hold them above the head, then at arms length in front of you and then to the side, again at arms length, which is immediately followed by holding a medicine ball of 2kg at arms length at 45 degrees above the head while doing knees bend stuff.
I know the weights don't sound much, and I would have laughed at doing such things before, but I was absolutely knackered when I finished today. Sweat was pouring off me and I had to have a quick wash before the talk.
While I'm on the subject of the gym, I have to say there is a certain black humour (which I really admire) in the choice of music to do the exercises to. Every tune has the word "heart" in it somewhere. Some todays more memorable ones were "Anyone Who had a Heart", "Heartbreaker", A Good Heart is Hard to Find" and "This old Heart of Mine". Apparently the music selection has been put together by a passed patient. I kinda like his - or her - style!
Monday, 7 April 2008
A busy day at the Hopital
Another Monday, so a gym day. Actually I found myself double booked with the gym and the diabetic clinic. Fortunately they are both in the hospital so I managed to see both, though the gym session had to be shortened a little. It still seems to be a bit of a problem getting my heart beat down after exercise. Getting it up there is no problem, today it got up to 130 BPM just during the warm up, but they want it back to the start level before you leave and mine refuses to get there. I don't feel bad, breathless or anything like that, I don't have "palpitations" it just doesn't seem keen to slow down. I have no idea why this is.
Anyway having cut short the gym work, I went up to the diabetic clinic, which ironically was running 30 minutes late - just the time I quit the gym by. Today was the dreaded retinal screening. For anyone who hasn't had it it fairly unpleasant. Don't get me wrong - it's not excruciating, but the drops they put in your eyes to dilate the pupils sting a bit. Actually, quite a lot! But they did it and I waited them to work. It normally takes about 20 minutes and during this time I went to see the doctor.
I have to say, she was delighted with me! My blood sugar level was "fantastic" and I'd lost "a great deal of weight" (five days in intensive care with kidney failure and no food tends to make you lose weight) and all in all I just had to "keep up the good work". I was pretty pleased with myself as I have really tried to go by the book on the Diabetes thing - it's just that I keep losing the book.
So then it was to get my eyes photographed. I have to say there must be something slightly sadistic about the medical profession. I admire them and I have so much to be grateful for, but they drop something that feels like acid into your eyes to make the pupils dilate, then to pop off a flashbulb right into them seems a bit extreme. I staggered out of the room only able to see a big blue circle and nothing else!
Then the final stop of the day - bloodtaking. This has become a routine now and the ladies who do it seem to be just brilliant at it. I honestly never felt the needle at all. I'm just hoping the the cholesterol level is something like and - who knows I may be back to work soon
Anyway having cut short the gym work, I went up to the diabetic clinic, which ironically was running 30 minutes late - just the time I quit the gym by. Today was the dreaded retinal screening. For anyone who hasn't had it it fairly unpleasant. Don't get me wrong - it's not excruciating, but the drops they put in your eyes to dilate the pupils sting a bit. Actually, quite a lot! But they did it and I waited them to work. It normally takes about 20 minutes and during this time I went to see the doctor.
I have to say, she was delighted with me! My blood sugar level was "fantastic" and I'd lost "a great deal of weight" (five days in intensive care with kidney failure and no food tends to make you lose weight) and all in all I just had to "keep up the good work". I was pretty pleased with myself as I have really tried to go by the book on the Diabetes thing - it's just that I keep losing the book.
So then it was to get my eyes photographed. I have to say there must be something slightly sadistic about the medical profession. I admire them and I have so much to be grateful for, but they drop something that feels like acid into your eyes to make the pupils dilate, then to pop off a flashbulb right into them seems a bit extreme. I staggered out of the room only able to see a big blue circle and nothing else!
Then the final stop of the day - bloodtaking. This has become a routine now and the ladies who do it seem to be just brilliant at it. I honestly never felt the needle at all. I'm just hoping the the cholesterol level is something like and - who knows I may be back to work soon
Friday, 4 April 2008
Onward and upward...
Well after the scare the other day it was back to normal yesterday. I'd had to miss my previous session at the gym, but went back to yesterdays. My favourite little twelve year old has gone (I think she's doing some more exams) and the lady in charge yesterday looked a good bit older - maybe in her 20s!
Whatever, she certainly put us through our paces, although she was particularly careful to make sure I didn't over exert myself. I actual fact, I quite enjoy these sessions. As you see the same faces each time it becomes almost a social experience, and one or two laughs ensue.
Having done the session Marg picked me up and we went home. It was only later that the muscle aches hit! My legs ached pretty well, but my chest muscle (presumably the one that has to be cut through) really did hurt. Turning over in bed proved to be a rather exciting experience - sort of moving in easy stages and waiting for the pain to die down before moving on again. That's not too bad, as long as you're awake, but if you're asleep, you don't do that, and it proves to be something that brings out the motor trade language in me. I have a feeling Marg was maybe a little shocked...
I'm starting to feel more like I'm ready to go back to work now, though. In fact I'd rather like to give it a go. I know some of the lifting will be right out the window for the moment - and maybe for quite a while yet, but I miss the banter and the general atmosphere of work, and it give you back a pattern to your life, which I'm missing at the moment.
I have an appointment with Mr Choudrhi on the 15th of this month during which I'd like to find out if the breathless episode is anything to worry about, but after that, I'm hoping for a return to work chitty and back at it.
Whatever, she certainly put us through our paces, although she was particularly careful to make sure I didn't over exert myself. I actual fact, I quite enjoy these sessions. As you see the same faces each time it becomes almost a social experience, and one or two laughs ensue.
Having done the session Marg picked me up and we went home. It was only later that the muscle aches hit! My legs ached pretty well, but my chest muscle (presumably the one that has to be cut through) really did hurt. Turning over in bed proved to be a rather exciting experience - sort of moving in easy stages and waiting for the pain to die down before moving on again. That's not too bad, as long as you're awake, but if you're asleep, you don't do that, and it proves to be something that brings out the motor trade language in me. I have a feeling Marg was maybe a little shocked...
I'm starting to feel more like I'm ready to go back to work now, though. In fact I'd rather like to give it a go. I know some of the lifting will be right out the window for the moment - and maybe for quite a while yet, but I miss the banter and the general atmosphere of work, and it give you back a pattern to your life, which I'm missing at the moment.
I have an appointment with Mr Choudrhi on the 15th of this month during which I'd like to find out if the breathless episode is anything to worry about, but after that, I'm hoping for a return to work chitty and back at it.
Tuesday, 1 April 2008
A Scare.
I've deliberately not posted this until today as I wanted to get my facts right, which is ironic, bearing in mind the date, but I had a hell of a fright last Saturday. One of Margs colleagues is retiring shortly and she wanted to get him something "personal" as they have worked closely for the past several years. Knowing his interests we went into town to find a book for him. We went on the bus, so we weren't constantly looking at the clock for parking. It was a day that bright, clear, but pretty chilly, and we got off the bus in town for the short walk to the bookshop.
I couldn't make it. There is a slight rise from the bus stop, in fact more of an incline that a rise, but it stopped me dead inside 30 yards, puffing and panting like in the old days. My heart sank as I wondered what the hell had gone wrong. I recovered after a little while, but it upset the rest of the day. Together we walked slowly around town, got the gift then got the bus home. I stayed in for the rest of the day worrying about what had happened. I rang the doc and spoke to her on Monday. She asked me to go in straight away, but I couldn't get to the surgery as I had no transport. She said to come in today, but it the meantime if there was any recurrence then to phone immediately and they would come out to me, and not to go to the gym this afternoon.
I simply stayed in. Messed about around the house and got tea ready for Marg. Over tea I snapped at her, which is something I never do, but I was so worried that I just went a bit overboard over something. I know she was a taken aback by this as it's just not like me at all.
Well today I went to the docs, having first walked up the street and a bit further without mishap. Marg picked me up and I went to see the doc after dropping her at work. I explained to him all that had happened and how I was scared something had broken. He examined me minutely, checked pulse and BP, sounded my chest and asked lots of questions - and at the end of it said he couldn't find anything wrong at all. What a relief!
He seems to think it's a combination of many things, not least not sleeping well. I've taken to sleeping - or rather laying tossing and turning- in the spare room, and I hate it. I'm pretty sure Marg does too, but it's unfair to keep her awake because I can't sleep. It doesn't take much to make you lose the confidence you gain so painstakingly over the past two months, but at least it doesn't seem to be anything serious - much to my and every other family members relief.
I still have to keep my appointment with Mr Choudri in a few days time and I'll tell him all about it too, but at least I feel better in myself.
I couldn't make it. There is a slight rise from the bus stop, in fact more of an incline that a rise, but it stopped me dead inside 30 yards, puffing and panting like in the old days. My heart sank as I wondered what the hell had gone wrong. I recovered after a little while, but it upset the rest of the day. Together we walked slowly around town, got the gift then got the bus home. I stayed in for the rest of the day worrying about what had happened. I rang the doc and spoke to her on Monday. She asked me to go in straight away, but I couldn't get to the surgery as I had no transport. She said to come in today, but it the meantime if there was any recurrence then to phone immediately and they would come out to me, and not to go to the gym this afternoon.
I simply stayed in. Messed about around the house and got tea ready for Marg. Over tea I snapped at her, which is something I never do, but I was so worried that I just went a bit overboard over something. I know she was a taken aback by this as it's just not like me at all.
Well today I went to the docs, having first walked up the street and a bit further without mishap. Marg picked me up and I went to see the doc after dropping her at work. I explained to him all that had happened and how I was scared something had broken. He examined me minutely, checked pulse and BP, sounded my chest and asked lots of questions - and at the end of it said he couldn't find anything wrong at all. What a relief!
He seems to think it's a combination of many things, not least not sleeping well. I've taken to sleeping - or rather laying tossing and turning- in the spare room, and I hate it. I'm pretty sure Marg does too, but it's unfair to keep her awake because I can't sleep. It doesn't take much to make you lose the confidence you gain so painstakingly over the past two months, but at least it doesn't seem to be anything serious - much to my and every other family members relief.
I still have to keep my appointment with Mr Choudri in a few days time and I'll tell him all about it too, but at least I feel better in myself.
Monday, 24 March 2008
How quickly...
How quickly we take things for granted. Today Marg and I went for a walk. We were out for about an hour-an-a-half or maybe two hours during which time we covered about four miles, completing the last bit in the teeth of a biting northerly wind and snow. Only six months ago this would have had me on my knees. People who know me know that I was unable to walk at any speed - even when we were relaxed and on holiday.
A look back to the post about our family holiday in Majorca would confirm that. A gentle slope would have me gasping for breath, a cool wind would produce an angina attack as surely as night follows day.
All this has changed. Now, my legs are likely to give up on me before my heart does, they certainly were aching by the time we got back today, but so were Margs, so that's not so bad. It all seems so long ago now, but it's only a matter of a few months. I still get the some chest pain, but generally I can cope with it, and it's from the cutting of the breastbone, not Angina. I'm pretty well off pain killers now and my major problem is sleeplessness, but again, I'm sure that will get better with increasing activity.
In short I now enjoy a new life. I have a couple of pretty impressive scars, and as I rarely wear a tie one of them could prove to be a talking point and the other won't be visible until I don my shorts. You may be waiting a long time for that!
My life has changed totally - and how quickly I'm taking it for granted, and how hard I have to try to remember the old days and appreciate the miracle that has been achieved.
A look back to the post about our family holiday in Majorca would confirm that. A gentle slope would have me gasping for breath, a cool wind would produce an angina attack as surely as night follows day.
All this has changed. Now, my legs are likely to give up on me before my heart does, they certainly were aching by the time we got back today, but so were Margs, so that's not so bad. It all seems so long ago now, but it's only a matter of a few months. I still get the some chest pain, but generally I can cope with it, and it's from the cutting of the breastbone, not Angina. I'm pretty well off pain killers now and my major problem is sleeplessness, but again, I'm sure that will get better with increasing activity.
In short I now enjoy a new life. I have a couple of pretty impressive scars, and as I rarely wear a tie one of them could prove to be a talking point and the other won't be visible until I don my shorts. You may be waiting a long time for that!
My life has changed totally - and how quickly I'm taking it for granted, and how hard I have to try to remember the old days and appreciate the miracle that has been achieved.
Sunday, 23 March 2008
Insomnia
This is something new to me. I can't sleep. I've never had any trouble just dropping of at night but just this past week or so I have an awful game just getting to sleep. I thought it was a fluke at first, but it seems to be continuing. I went to the docs and he gave me some mild sleeping pills ("just take one as you go to bed for a couple of nights and you'll soon re-establish a sleep pattern") Well, sorry doc, this time your wrong.
I find myself wandering round the house at all hours of the night. Last night I was doing a tour of famous prisons via Google earth and I'm writing this as Marg is sleeping. I think it's about half past midnight. The pattern seems to be that I feel really tired while downstairs and come to bed at a normal time for us of 10.30 / 11.00 o'clock. Then suddenly I'm wide awake again. I have no idea why this should be and I don't even know if it's connected to the op, but it's driving me crackers!
While it would be wrong to say that I don't get a wink of sleep, I certainly aren't getting my full ration. I need at least six hours a night, and I'm better with eight. I'm just not getting them at the moment. Tonight in desperation took two of the tablets - result - nothing, which accounts for me tapping out on these keys at this time of night. Ah well, maybe I'll go for a look around Australia or somewhere for a change tonight.
I find myself wandering round the house at all hours of the night. Last night I was doing a tour of famous prisons via Google earth and I'm writing this as Marg is sleeping. I think it's about half past midnight. The pattern seems to be that I feel really tired while downstairs and come to bed at a normal time for us of 10.30 / 11.00 o'clock. Then suddenly I'm wide awake again. I have no idea why this should be and I don't even know if it's connected to the op, but it's driving me crackers!
While it would be wrong to say that I don't get a wink of sleep, I certainly aren't getting my full ration. I need at least six hours a night, and I'm better with eight. I'm just not getting them at the moment. Tonight in desperation took two of the tablets - result - nothing, which accounts for me tapping out on these keys at this time of night. Ah well, maybe I'll go for a look around Australia or somewhere for a change tonight.
Thursday, 20 March 2008
The Gym...
Well the day of reckoning finally arrived. A little while ago I had been forcibly driven to the shops to buy some tracksuit bottoms (£5.00 Tescos best!) and sporting them complete with two go faster stripes down each leg, and feeling both foolish and as conspicuous as a porcupine in nudist colony, I went. One of the things that I hadn't taken into account was how much wearing trainers and cheap jogging bottoms generate static electricity. Everything metal that I touched seemed to preceded by a blue flash, a sharp crack and me swearing. I'll swear they could plug me into the National Grid and I'd make fortune!
In actual fact it wasn't so bad. We're all pretty much of an age sort of late fifties or early sixties, and at various stages of the scheme. We were met and taken to the gym where there is some pretty sophisticated equipment. Donning the heart monitor proved to be something of a challenge, as it fits in much the same way as a bra. Thank goodness I'm not a woman, I'd never manage! However after much fiddling and messing about I got it on and put on the "watch" reader. Simply putting the kit on raised my heart rate quite alarmingly! Afterwards I had my blood pressure taken (slightly raise at 140 over something or other) the the guy pulled a bit of face, but let me carry on
A charming young girl who looked to be about 12 arranged us around the gym on the various bits of kit. In all honesty the kit is pretty simple, mainly weights and medicine balls, and we started the drill. It seemed pretty easy at first, but soon I was sweating. After about a minute or so we all moved around the the next exercise and carried on. I was at my best doing the "gentle walk" and my worst lifting the medicine ball out at 45 degrees. By the time I'd been round all of the kit I was pretty pooped. We sat for a few moments, not still, you understand, we had to keep our feet moving and had a drink of orange juice. The we did it all over again.
They actually wanted the heart rate to be the same at the end as at the start, but mine refused to come down for quite a while and I was sent of on the gentle walk again. Maybe it was a flukey low reading to start with, but it never did, so I just took the monitoring kit off and joined the group again for the talk.
The talk was pretty interesting, about the benefits of exercise, and certainly gave food for thought. In England 70% of people lead sedentary lives, and it's getting worse. Just the amount of exercise that we did today lifted us out of that group and made us "active" - that's quite a thought.
In actual fact it wasn't so bad. We're all pretty much of an age sort of late fifties or early sixties, and at various stages of the scheme. We were met and taken to the gym where there is some pretty sophisticated equipment. Donning the heart monitor proved to be something of a challenge, as it fits in much the same way as a bra. Thank goodness I'm not a woman, I'd never manage! However after much fiddling and messing about I got it on and put on the "watch" reader. Simply putting the kit on raised my heart rate quite alarmingly! Afterwards I had my blood pressure taken (slightly raise at 140 over something or other) the the guy pulled a bit of face, but let me carry on
A charming young girl who looked to be about 12 arranged us around the gym on the various bits of kit. In all honesty the kit is pretty simple, mainly weights and medicine balls, and we started the drill. It seemed pretty easy at first, but soon I was sweating. After about a minute or so we all moved around the the next exercise and carried on. I was at my best doing the "gentle walk" and my worst lifting the medicine ball out at 45 degrees. By the time I'd been round all of the kit I was pretty pooped. We sat for a few moments, not still, you understand, we had to keep our feet moving and had a drink of orange juice. The we did it all over again.
They actually wanted the heart rate to be the same at the end as at the start, but mine refused to come down for quite a while and I was sent of on the gentle walk again. Maybe it was a flukey low reading to start with, but it never did, so I just took the monitoring kit off and joined the group again for the talk.
The talk was pretty interesting, about the benefits of exercise, and certainly gave food for thought. In England 70% of people lead sedentary lives, and it's getting worse. Just the amount of exercise that we did today lifted us out of that group and made us "active" - that's quite a thought.
Monday, 17 March 2008
An introduction to the gym
Marg went back to work today. She's still not right, but insists on going back "to see how I go", I feel sort of lost without her being around. Its funny how it never crossed my mind that she would be around when I came out of hospital, but now she's disappeared, at least during the working day, I feel odd and maybe a bit vulnerable, but life goes on.
We're very lucky here in York as we have an active and well prepared cardiac recovery system. Today was my turn to find out about the gym work that I'll be doing over the next six weeks.
A small group of us met at mid-morning to be briefed on what to expect and what was expected of us. We'll all be examined as we do our workouts. We'll all be given a sort of belt affair to wear round our chests and a wristwatch that will measure our heart rate. We need to be careful not to get too close to our neighbour or the belt might pick up their heartrate too and add them together, causing some alarm and consternation. Also if the watch registers "zero" it means that the battery is flat, not that you're dead! Of course they won't be expecting us to be athletes, but to become fitter than we are. I'm quite looking forward to it really as it'll give me some focus for what are now becoming long days. I drove the car back from Margs work (so that I could use it to go to the meeting), and it's till quite painful even after a short distance. I'm hoping the gym setup will help with this because I'm now getting quite worried about my job. Van drivers are ten a penny, and I've now been off work since January, so you'll see what I mean. My employers have been great, but goodwill is a finite resource and I don't want it to run out.
Otherwise, there's not much else to report. I'm pretty sure that I am improving, but the rate of improvement is slowing down markedly. Oh well, we'll see how knackered I am after Wednesdays work out. I'll let you know...
We're very lucky here in York as we have an active and well prepared cardiac recovery system. Today was my turn to find out about the gym work that I'll be doing over the next six weeks.
A small group of us met at mid-morning to be briefed on what to expect and what was expected of us. We'll all be examined as we do our workouts. We'll all be given a sort of belt affair to wear round our chests and a wristwatch that will measure our heart rate. We need to be careful not to get too close to our neighbour or the belt might pick up their heartrate too and add them together, causing some alarm and consternation. Also if the watch registers "zero" it means that the battery is flat, not that you're dead! Of course they won't be expecting us to be athletes, but to become fitter than we are. I'm quite looking forward to it really as it'll give me some focus for what are now becoming long days. I drove the car back from Margs work (so that I could use it to go to the meeting), and it's till quite painful even after a short distance. I'm hoping the gym setup will help with this because I'm now getting quite worried about my job. Van drivers are ten a penny, and I've now been off work since January, so you'll see what I mean. My employers have been great, but goodwill is a finite resource and I don't want it to run out.
Otherwise, there's not much else to report. I'm pretty sure that I am improving, but the rate of improvement is slowing down markedly. Oh well, we'll see how knackered I am after Wednesdays work out. I'll let you know...
Sunday, 9 March 2008
just thinking...
One of the things that enforced idleness does is give you time to think, and I've been doing a lot of that. Normally the world whizzes past as I drive from one place to another, but being unable to drive has somehow opened my eyes.
This is a really lovely time of year, the buds are coming out, leaves are just turning green and the world is awakening from it's winter hibernation. During yesterdays walk we stopped countless times just to admire natures handiwork. Just taking the time to look at how the leaves are tightly enfurled in the bud, and a little further along the branch another bud has burst is just incredible.
Another thing is that time is less important (actually it's completely unimportant really) and having time is a special gift. It opens you mind to memories and thoughts that you don't have time for normally.
I have so much to be thankful for. Far more than I can put down here, but I'm one of that blessed generation of "Baby boomers" born just after the war. I was born too late to serve in Malaya, Cyprus and Suez, and too early to have to face the Iraq chaos. Just being the age I am is pretty amazing. Then I have my wonderful family. I'm saying nothing about them, because I've said plenty already. All in all, I have very few regrets.
The one major regret is this: I wish with all my heart that I'd never started smoking. I know there is nothing worse than a reformed smoker, but it's just so true. I don't know if all my health problems have been caused by smoking, but I do know that if I hadn't smoked then I'd be a lot better of than I am now - in every way. I sat down the other day and worked out how much I was spending on fags per week, before I stopped. I'd done it before, after all it was one of the reasons I did stop, but it's a mind blowing figure just the same.
I kidded myself that I was only smoking twenty a day, but in reality I bet it was nearer forty. Even if we take the lower figure, twenty Benson and Hedges now cost more than £5.50. Now multiply that by 7 days gives you £38.50 - a week! bearing in mind I've been smoking for more than 40 years I must have spent thousands on suicide on the easy payment plan. My smoke money has paid for several holidays since I stopped in 2003. I know what I'd rather spend my money on!
This is a really lovely time of year, the buds are coming out, leaves are just turning green and the world is awakening from it's winter hibernation. During yesterdays walk we stopped countless times just to admire natures handiwork. Just taking the time to look at how the leaves are tightly enfurled in the bud, and a little further along the branch another bud has burst is just incredible.
Another thing is that time is less important (actually it's completely unimportant really) and having time is a special gift. It opens you mind to memories and thoughts that you don't have time for normally.
I have so much to be thankful for. Far more than I can put down here, but I'm one of that blessed generation of "Baby boomers" born just after the war. I was born too late to serve in Malaya, Cyprus and Suez, and too early to have to face the Iraq chaos. Just being the age I am is pretty amazing. Then I have my wonderful family. I'm saying nothing about them, because I've said plenty already. All in all, I have very few regrets.
The one major regret is this: I wish with all my heart that I'd never started smoking. I know there is nothing worse than a reformed smoker, but it's just so true. I don't know if all my health problems have been caused by smoking, but I do know that if I hadn't smoked then I'd be a lot better of than I am now - in every way. I sat down the other day and worked out how much I was spending on fags per week, before I stopped. I'd done it before, after all it was one of the reasons I did stop, but it's a mind blowing figure just the same.
I kidded myself that I was only smoking twenty a day, but in reality I bet it was nearer forty. Even if we take the lower figure, twenty Benson and Hedges now cost more than £5.50. Now multiply that by 7 days gives you £38.50 - a week! bearing in mind I've been smoking for more than 40 years I must have spent thousands on suicide on the easy payment plan. My smoke money has paid for several holidays since I stopped in 2003. I know what I'd rather spend my money on!
Thursday, 6 March 2008
Back to the docs
I had to revisit my GP this morning. The infection along my chest woud still hasn't cleared up. I have a feeling that it's fading a little, but it's only marginal, if at all. She examined me again and prescribed more antibiotics which I shall take as required. One thing has been ruled out, MRSA. I'm grateful for that. I'm not sure how I'd go on if I got the dreaded MRSA as well as all this other stuff.
I'm still a bit sore and achy from yesterdays drive, but I'm not as down as I was yesterday. Its a strange thing how we just expect out bodies to recover in a a few weeks from what has been major surgery, but we do. Or at least I do
I'm still a bit sore and achy from yesterdays drive, but I'm not as down as I was yesterday. Its a strange thing how we just expect out bodies to recover in a a few weeks from what has been major surgery, but we do. Or at least I do
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